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S1E4 — Multiclass — Kleen v Ivanna Kishu

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tagsepisode, season-1

25 min read

Champions and playersChris (carnisideshow) as Kleen; Sylvie (sylvietran9) as Ivanna Kishu
ResultKleen (“Master Kleen”). Ivanna Kishu is killed, then secretly revived by the Arbiter
ArenaKirken’s Mine (an abandoned, snowy mine far up in the north), then a rickety bridge over a frozen waterfall
HostsCaustic Phoenix (Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer) and Mudcat (the Arbiter, narration, rulings)

What happens

Opening — the water challenge

  1. 0:00:02 In the throne room, the Grandmaster is chugging glasses of water as fast as she can while the Arbiter cheers her on from the corner: “More! More!” GM: “Why does water taste awful? Why do we have to drink this to stay alive?… I’d rather have a Dr. Pepper.” Arbiter: “We don’t have any. There’s a legal dispute with Mr. Pepper.” The recommended dose is “your entire body weight.” She throws the cups behind her throne, as she did with the coloring book in S1E3: “It’s bland. It’s boring. It’s everywhere… What I need is something beautiful. Like a fight.”
  2. 0:01:40 — Blood. Arbiter: “The only thing you’ll be drinking tonight is the blood of the victim.” GM: “I’m clearly not a vampire and I will not be drinking anybody’s blood tonight… That’s not sanitary.” She never went through a Twilight phase.
  3. 0:02:23 — Larry. The Arbiter “knows a guy”: his friend Larry works at a blood bank. “He came to the Christmas party.” GM: “That Larry. Who spiked the punch, and we had to kick out early?” “He’s not perfect, but he does know blood.”
  4. 0:03:04 The Arbiter claps; the sound ripples through the chamber and splits a portal open, and two champions are pulled through. “Kleen versus Ivanna Kishu.” GM: “Flex for me… I need these on trading cards.”
  5. 0:04:21 — Kleen: “My name is Kleen. I am a warlock, Pact of the Genie. And I am here to battle.” “That’s the whole spiel.” He has an imp. His fighting style is “Very [dirty]. So that I can clean up the battlefield… It’s going to get dirty. And then very clean.”
  6. 0:05:27 — Ivanna Kishu: “Violence is one way, but there are always other ways. There is Ivanna Kishu ways… I’m a protector, an aasimar, and druid. And I’m definitely not OP at all. I’m gonna beat the shit out of Kleen.” “I’m gonna kiss you.” (Her name is a pun on “I wanna kiss you.” Her running catchphrase is “Me too.”)
  7. 0:06:46 — Eyeball juice. Is there anything besides blood? GM: “Bones, gut, spit, hair… whatever juice is in your eyeballs.” Arbiter: “I don’t have an eyeball juice guy. I have a blood guy.” GM: “It’s very greasy… very sticky. Depends on how you cook it.” Prizes: Ivanna is promised “the finest eyeball juice dish” from their chef (“I’m drooling already”). Kleen asks for chocolate ice cream, no eyeballs. GM: “That’s what makes the chocolate ice cream really good, is the eyeballs.” Kleen suggests marshmallows or nuts; GM: “What are these marshmallows you speak of?”

The arena — Kirken’s Mine (0:08:43)

  1. The Arbiter claps again. A cold wave of snow and wind blows through the portal into an abandoned mine.
  2. 0:09:04 — GM: “This used to be called Kirken’s Mine. Used to. Of course, it’s my mine now. … I enjoy this little jewel hidden far up in the north. You see, Kirken up here, well, I suppose abandoned isn’t the right word here. He never really left, but he doesn’t own it anymore.” Kleen looks queasy. GM: “With all the white around here, you could bleach anything and get away with it.”
  3. 0:10:00 — Terrain: heights, levels and rubble; snow to play with (“create a few snowmen… They better look pretty darn impressive”); snowballs and icicles; steps to the north; platforms. It’s icy: “If you slip on the ice here onto your ass, we’ll be laughing at you.” The GM mixes up her 2s and 3s (“It’s all that water got to my head”).
  4. 0:12:45 The GM points up at the ring of spectators: “your great, great Grandmaster, not that makes me old or anything.” She has “not yet forgotten the chaotic event that you had summoned so beautifully at the very last moments of our last battle.” (This pays off S1E3’s bottled crowd chaos.) The champion who rolls second in initiative picks the opening chaos event. She leaves in a mini blizzard.
  5. 0:14:48 Arbiter: “I want a dirty, dirty fight. I want to see this snow covered in red blood.” He leaves by Gaseous Form. GM: “Is that another way of farting your way up?” “It is.” “He’s compelled by his own beans.”

Opening chaos — Acolyte dodgeball (0:15:44)

  1. Ivanna rolls last (6), then rolls 16 on the chaos d20. “We’re starting this game off with a bit of dodgeball!” Chat throws whatever they have. Items called out: dragons, Coke bottles, Doritos, frogs, hot dogs, spaghetti, mini cactuses, Pickle Rick, an angry cucumber, “even a Mud Cat”, bananas, skulls, “the bounciest kitty booty,” a hammer, a bomb, a toilet, a picnic basket, tea.
  2. 0:19:18 It’s a DC 16 Dex save. Kleen saves (16) and is hit by three items at half damage: a Dorito, a banana and popcorn. “This is the banana. It always is.” Ivanna fails (13) and picks her hits: pasta, a cookie next to a teacup “from Pexy,” a cute pumpkin, each doubled. That’s 13 damage. “I’m already bleeding.” GM: “Perhaps one of those toilets hit you as well.” Arbiter: “There’s already blood on the field.”

Round 1

  1. 0:21:47 Kleen sends his imp up to scout (“What are you doing, you idiot?”). Eldritch Blast ×3 hits for 34 (one glancing blow at exactly her AC does half; arena rule). He misty-steps (“bamf”) to the top of a 20-ft pillar: “I am a glass cannon.” GM: “A hit and run?”
  2. 0:25:02 Ivanna: “I have blood all over me, but I’m gonna wipe it and lick it… Not so Kleen, I see.” She casts Moonbeam; Kleen fails the save.
  3. 0:27:23 — Wild Shape. The GM narrates the moon shining “like the sun into this darkness,” bringing out “the hues of diamonds and blues and golds” of the abandoned mine. Ivanna lets chat pick her form: #20, a hippogriff. Transformation: her hair and dress float as she spins, her arms become white wings, and a beak appears with lipstick on it. Her paws have nail polish. “She is very sexy, sexy Hippogriff.” It has 19 HP: “It’s a pretty Hippogriff, it’s not a strong Hippogriff.” She flies to the far corner, blowing a kiss.
  4. 0:32:14 The crowd awards both champions a hero point. GM: “Ask, and we will make a ruling.”

Round 2

  1. 0:34:12 Kleen: “With my feat, Spell Sniper… Eldritch Spear. My range on my Eldritch Blast is 600 feet.” Arbiter: “It might as well be 10 kilometers.” His first blast is a nat 20 (arena rule: max damage plus the roll). All three hit the hippogriff (AC 11) for 47 total. The hippogriff drops and the spillover leaves Ivanna at 22. Sylvie: “Never let a DM build a character.” (Kleen was built by a DM.) GM: “I don’t think you’re getting your eyeball dessert later.” Arbiter: “There is blood and eyeballs everywhere.”
  2. 0:39:07 Ivanna rolls a nat 20 on her Moonbeam concentration save. The GM rules that the Moonbeam does double damage next turn: “You have tested Ivanna Kishu and her mind has only held on even stronger.” Kleen steps away (Misty Step) and “casually walks 30 feet.”
  3. 0:40:46 — The hair brush. “First, I’m gonna brush my hair, and then this is just a flavor action. And while brushing my hair, I’m gonna heal myself… 70 hit points.” GM: “That is a recovery like I have never seen before.” She wild-shapes again. She wanted a lion, which isn’t on her list, so she takes a dire wolf “with stripes,” flavored like a tiger. (“Hamster [in a] ball,” the Arbiter suggests.)
  4. 0:43:30 — The howl-off. “Just because she’s a wolf, does she actually have a good howl?” The best howl wins a 1d4 bless, with chat voting in a poll. Ivanna howls; Kleen’s mic cuts out at first (“Discord hates me”), then: “The pain I feel.” The GM googles how to make a poll.
  5. 0:46:48 — The Arbiter’s ice shield. “They’ve showed a real tenacity in the face of an unrelenting Eldritch Blast.” On a coin flip, swirling snow and ice form a sheet of ice over the wolf’s fur: resistance to force damage for one round. “It has nothing to do with the fact that I placed a small wager on you. This is totally arbitrary and out of the kindness of my own heart.” Chat gives Ivanna the d4 bless too. “I feel like the gods are with me.”
  6. 0:50:23 “I cast confusion on myself.” “It’s super effective.” The wolf leaps a wide gap (Athletics 16) and burrows into a snowdrift to hide (stealth 13 to 14; +2 AC from cover).
  7. 0:53:12 — Break. GM: “I’m terribly confused by most things, and I might need a small refresher… recalibrate.” Arbiter: “Make your way to the concession stands.”

After the break

  1. 0:53:58 “I like that you did real screaming and the rest of us just opened our mouths.” Arbiter: “This useless one might be mine.” GM: “Your talents are very few.” “Regardless of what you think, I’m still proud of myself… I have some self-esteem and some pride.” “Well, that won’t be reflected in your paycheck.”
  2. 0:54:52 “The Acolytes told me during the break, I was talking to them by the nacho fountain, and they demand a chaos event.”

Chaos event — the Round of the Pig (0:55:36)

  1. Kleen rolls 8. For one round, everything the characters say must be in Pig Latin. Anyone who fails gets a small rock thrown at them by the Arbiter (1 bludgeoning). The Arbiter explains: “Igpe Atenle.” “Round three, the Round of the Pig, begins now.”
  2. 0:57:42 Kleen garbles (“I aquae ute over a ear-ay… Holy say”). He jumps down a high ledge and fails Athletics (5): a twisted ankle, half movement for a round. He casts Investiture of Flame (“Aim play”): flames race across his body, giving bright light 30 ft and dim light 30 more, and cold resistance.
  3. 1:00:51 Ivanna struggles to move the Moonbeam in Pig Latin (“Unmei, Unbei, Ovei…”). Arbiter: “Nope.” She can only move it 60 ft, putting it right in front of him but not on him: “It would be his choice to step into the spotlight.” “Frustration A!” Arbiter: “Grandmaster, are you following any of this?” GM: “Of course!… Force K!” The GM has two rocks thrown at her for answering without Pig Latin.
  4. 1:04:22 Ivanna spends her hero point: the GM lets her cast a spell in beast form. She casts Ice Storm. She’s not speaking Pig Latin, so a rock hits her for 1. Her answer is a very long “Ayyyyyy…” She also tried to use metamagic (Distant Spell, sorcery points) to move the Moonbeam: she’s multiclassed. Ice Storm does 2 bludgeoning plus 3 cold (Kleen resists cold; “We round up. We like to see damage here.”), and its area becomes difficult terrain: a quarter movement with his twisted ankle. Arbiter: “If you’re listening to the D20 Deathmatch podcast, I am so sorry. Seriously.”
  5. 1:10:38 “The Acolytes are demanding that Kleen take a rock to the face as well.” The Arbiter chucks one for fun: 20 to hit, 1 damage. Kleen holds concentration. GM: “This became very personal all of a sudden.”
  6. 1:11:50 — The curse lifts. “The Latin pigs are very happy… a small herd of them… run across the map, giving them your little blessing… no one has to speak Pig Latin ever again for the rest of their life.” Sylvie: “I’ve never thought I would miss speaking normally.”
  7. 1:13:15 The Arbiter rolls a 9; the GM makes him reroll (“I was so sad”), and he rolls a 7 (“much better”).

Round 4–5

  1. 1:13:47 Kleen: “I’m singing a song of fire and ice right now.” He rolls a nat 20 perception: “You can literally see the steam rising from that pile of snow.” He finds something shiny in the snow: an ice snowball, fluffy outside with an ice ball at its core. 2d12 ice damage, bonus action, 30-ft range. Arbiter: “That’s a game ender is what I like to call that one.” Kleen: “I will set my balls into my pants.”
  2. 1:16:11 Spell Sniper ignores her half cover. GM: “You did a nice little pretty snowdrift and yet you have failed.” The GM laughs so hard that the water she was pretending to drink, to look hydrated, spills all over the Arbiter. He steams his own body dry with magic: “Are you cooking?” “Cooking those pigs that ran through.”
  3. 1:16:57 — Mr. Kleen. “My Eldritch Blasts come out, this time in the form of a bald man, with a ring in his ear. I shout, ‘There is no Kleen like Mr. Kleen!’” Three hit the wolf for 37, halved to 18 by the ice shield, and she stays a wolf. Ivanna: “Yo, yo, yo. Stinky balls… I’m biting your balls.”
  4. 1:18:44 — Elemental Gift: “I begin to take on the characteristics of my patron, the genie.” He gains a 30-ft fly speed and bludgeoning resistance, and floats 30 ft up, still in his flame (“Burn away the bacteria”). Ivanna holds the Moonbeam (16): “It’s my moon.”
  5. 1:21:41 — Ivanna returns. She drops the wolf form: “Ivanna comes back! I am tired of all of this. Let’s end it.” Kleen is 150 ft away. She casts Call Lightning, and he fails (11) for 20 lightning damage. The Moonbeam drops, since she can only hold one concentration spell.
  6. 1:25:06 — The avalanche. The Arbiter’s 9 triggers an event: the GM lets him “shake things up in any way that you see please.” “I’ve seen enough of this arena. It’s starting to bore me. They’re very far apart.” He claps; a thunderous boom echoes and the mountaintop snow avalanches down, filling Kirken’s Mine. Both make Dex saves: Ivanna 22, Kleen 4 (3 damage after resistance, “ice… hits you in the head”). They escape out the mineshaft door onto a rickety, swaying bridge 80 ft above a frozen waterfall. Call Lightning stays behind in the mine.

On the bridge

  1. 1:28:10 Initiative is rerolled (Kleen 7, Ivanna 5). Kleen’s Eldritch Blasts: 26, a nat 20 and a “dirty 20,” for 52 force. GM: “She’s sweeping up her ashes by the end of this round.” Ivanna: “I am not scared. Okay, hit me.” His ice snowball hits (17) for 18 cold. Arbiter: “With one swift snowball movement, you have brought this fight back to almost dead even.” GM: “A sniper with the spells and sniper with the snow… Clean up the competition.” He flies 30 ft back.
  2. 1:32:10 — Blood healing. “When I lick my blood, to put it back inside my body, I heal a little bit more… This is the new way of healing. You drink your blood back.” Arbiter: “Would you like to talk to my guy, Larry?” She casts healing hands for 12 (“Better than zero”). GM: “Ivanna Kishu is clearly just the forerunner [in blood-drinking]… like that weird Skyrim dude who could just eat wheels of cheese and heal.” The two keep backing apart: “like… the same side of magnet.” Kleen: “My character is literally a camper.”
  3. 1:34:30 — Ivanna’s prayer. “Ivanna Kishu, Ivanna French Kishu, would like to ask you for a blessing… You’re here for a show, so let me give you a show. Let me spill out some more blood, but not from me this time.” The GM has her roll perception (DC 12), which she barely makes: she finds her own ice snowball. She blows a kiss.
  4. 1:36:00 — “Just Kleen.” Arbiter: “Mr. Kleen. It’s time for you to clean this up.” Kleen: “Sir or just Kleen? Mr. Kleen is my patron. I’m just Kleen.” “Is Kleen short for something like Kleenzington?” “Just Kleen.”
  5. 1:36:28 Kleen spends his one and only pact slot on confusion. Ivanna saves easily (24, +9 Wis). He tries to fly away.
  6. 1:37:15 — The GM boxes them in. “No. I am your Grandmaster.” Snowbanks build up at each end of the bridge. “Quit running away on my map, and you will face and battle each other like champions. You can fly up, but you cannot fly out.” Kleen lands in the middle: “Come at me, Ivanna.”
  7. 1:37:51 Ivanna: “You tried to confuse me. I blow my kiss. Now you’re the one who’s confused.” Her confusion fails (Kleen 21). Snowball: “The balls that came out from your pants. Well, I’m throwing mine now… Coming out from my shirt, two balls!” She isn’t proficient with snowballs (“Does your character come from a snowy background?” “No.”), and it lands at Kleen’s feet. “I’m proficient in chess balls.” “You don’t throw those around.”
  8. 1:40:27 — Toilets. The Arbiter rolls a nat 1 at round’s end. GM: “That Nat 1 means you have to be the one that cleans up the toilets from the stands after this. The goblins get the night off.” Kleen: “Allow me, Arbiter. I will jump in to help you after I win.”

The kill

  1. 1:41:12 Kleen walks forward with Eldritch Blast (“Shocker”); one hits for 16. He spends his hero point on an action surge. “Standing 15 feet away, Ivanna Kishu… Then let us end this.” He blasts three more times. Ivanna collapses into the snowbank, the breath leaving her body.
  2. 1:43:21 GM: “You can say any last words as you feel your own blood draining from your body, unable to drink it up again.” Ivanna: “You stinky balls. I don’t want to kiss you.” Kleen: “Could have ended differently.”
  3. 1:43:50 — Victory. The GM glides down between them: “You were timely with your hits, holding back until the very end… I didn’t know if you would run from the fight for every moment, but when push came to shove, you truly showed your colors.” Kleen: “I think it was proven that I am the real Mr. Kleen. And also, how many toilets are we talking about?” “At least 52.” “Someone even pooped in the stands.”
  4. 1:45:04 — The shitstorm. Kleen casts Prestidigitation: the filth of all 52 toilets lifts into the clouds, mixes into the atmosphere and rains down on the spectators. GM: “So you’re telling me this is a shitstorm?” Arbiter: “It is a literal shitstorm, Grandmaster.” GM to the Arbiter: “Clean up this mess. This will be one task we will not put Master Kleen to.”
  5. 1:46:01 — THE ARBITER REVIVES IVANNA KISHU. “As the Arbiter grabs Ivanna Kishu by her wings, he disappears with her back into his laboratory, where he lays her on the table and revives her back to life. Looking down at her body: ‘I’m not done with you yet. You will kiss again.’” (This is a secret Arbiter revival. Ivanna is an aasimar; “by her wings” refers to her aasimar wings.)
  6. 1:46:38 — Crowning. “Tonight you have witnessed the battle of icy storms… a true victor, a true winner, a true Kleener. I give you Master Kleen!” The crowd cheers while shielding their eyes and mouths from the poop rain, then “it turns a bit into a mud poop fight.” “Come, Master Kleen, and we shall get you chocolate ice cream.”

Dried Blood (after-show)

  • “Definitely the first time and not the third time that we have done this… The recording is 100% on this time.” The intro was re-recorded.
  • Kleen’s player was having more fun than usual: “unless I’m DMing… I like to be in the center of attention.”
  • Drew on the format: “As the DM, you have that urge where you want to kill your players, but you can’t… We don’t have that problem here.”
  • Recap of earlier deaths:
    • Nearly everyone died together in a playtest, “like Hunger Games style.” This points to Playtest 1 or 2 (see review).
    • “We even had the Acolytes chat kill somebody” with the dodgeball finishing blow, in an earlier episode.
  • Pig Latin: “I’m not American.” Kleen’s player suggests French next time (“How do you say Eldritch Blast in French?”). Drew says Pig Latin was Bec “getting back at you for making her speak French.” Bec previously tried French at the table and only remembered “axe” and “cantrip” (she guessed “cantrip” every time).
  • Bec to Chris: “Eldritch Blast was your BFF.” Chris was banking on the genie features; “she never walked into my circle of flame.” Sylvie: “I’m never doing whatever you want me to do.”
  • Parting words: Sylvie thanks chat for the hero points; Chris: “I’m glad I won.”

Who and what appears

Characters

Kleen (“Master Kleen”; Chris). A warlock, Pact of the Genie.

  • His patron is Mr. Kleen (“Mr. Kleen is my patron. I’m just Kleen”). Not short for anything.
  • Built by a DM (per Sylvie), with Cha-heavy stats and AC 12. “A glass cannon,” “literally a camper.”
  • Gear and spells:
    • An imp familiar.
    • Eldritch Blast with Eldritch Spear (600-ft range) and Spell Sniper (ignores half and three-quarters cover); his blasts can take the form of a bald man with an earring.
    • Misty Step, Investiture of Flame, Elemental Gift (genie flight, bludgeoning resistance), confusion (one pact slot), Prestidigitation.
  • Twisted an ankle. Found and threw an ice snowball.
  • Won. Promised chocolate ice cream (no eyeballs). He made it rain toilet filth on the crowd.

Ivanna Kishu (Sylvie). “A protector, an aasimar, and druid” (Circle of the Moon). She is clearly multiclassed (the episode title): she has sorcery points and metamagic, and healing hands.

  • Catchphrases: “Me too,” “I’m gonna kiss you,” and blown kisses. “There is Ivanna Kishu ways.”
  • Wild shapes into a chat-chosen hippogriff (white wings, lipstick on its beak, nail polish), then a striped dire wolf.
  • Heals by brushing her hair (70 HP) and by licking her own blood back in.
  • Spells: Moonbeam, Ice Storm, Call Lightning, confusion.
  • Promised an eyeball-juice dish. Not proficient with snowballs, but “proficient in chess balls.”
  • Killed by Kleen’s action-surged Eldritch Blasts. Last words: “You stinky balls. I don’t want to kiss you.”
  • Then carried by her wings to the Arbiter’s laboratory and revived: “I’m not done with you yet. You will kiss again.”

Kleen’s imp: a familiar, sent up to scout.

The Arbiter (Drew).

  • Coached the GM’s water drinking.
  • His friend Larry works at a blood bank (see below).
  • Opens portals by clapping. Exits by Gaseous Form (“compelled by his own beans”).
  • Placed a small wager on Ivanna and gave her an ice shield.
  • Triggered the avalanche. Throws rocks at people who don’t speak Pig Latin.
  • Talks with Acolytes at the nacho fountain.
  • Must clean the 52 stadium toilets (nat 1; the goblins get the night off).
  • Has a laboratory where he revives fallen champions.
  • “Some self-esteem and some pride.” The paycheck joke.

Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer (Bec).

  • Hates drinking water; prefers Dr. Pepper. “Clearly not a vampire.”
  • Has “a chef” and thinks eyeball juice is delicious.
  • “Great, great Grandmaster.” Owns Kirken’s Mine now.
  • Used the bottled chaos from S1E3 (the opening chaos event).
  • Walled the bridge with snowbanks. Pretends to drink water to look hydrated.

Larry: the Arbiter’s friend who works at a blood bank. He came to the Christmas party, spiked the punch and was kicked out early. “He does know blood.”

Kirken: the former owner of Kirken’s Mine. “He never really left, but he doesn’t own it anymore.” Drew: a small RP detail to give the place a history; record what Bec said and nothing more.

Mr. Kleen: Kleen’s patron, a genie, who appears in Eldritch Blast form as a bald man with an earring. A real-world brand parody, kept as-is (Drew).

Mr. Pepper: in “a legal dispute” with the Deathmatch, which is why there’s no Dr. Pepper (a joke).

The goblins: normally clean the stadium toilets (and are said to run the label, per S1E3).

The Latin pigs: a small herd that runs across the map when the Pig Latin curse lifts.

Chat names in the dodgeball: Pexy (the cookie and teacup), “Mud Cat” (Drew’s handle, thrown as an object), and Pickle Rick.

Places

  • Kirken’s Mine: an abandoned, snowy mine “hidden far up in the north,” owned by the Grandmaster now. Pillars, ledges, snowdrifts, steps, platforms. The moonlight brings out “hues of diamonds and blues and golds.” Filled with snow by the Arbiter’s avalanche. Probably the same place as Reaper’s Rock from Playtest 2 (Drew).
  • The rickety bridge over the frozen waterfall, outside the mineshaft door, 80 ft up. Walled with snowbanks by the GM.
  • The Arbiter’s laboratory, where he revives champions.
  • The stadium’s 52 toilets and the nacho fountain at the concession stands.

Items

  • Ice snowballs found in the snow (2d12 ice, bonus action, 30 ft). Kleen and Ivanna each found one.
  • The GM’s water glasses; the eyeball-juice dish; chocolate ice cream (no eyeballs).

Lore statements

  • Arbiter secret revival #4: Ivanna Kishu (S1E4). The earlier ones are Bromir (P2), Eshrinn (S1E1 Dried Blood) and Amren (S1E2).
  • The Grandmaster’s chaos from the previous fight carried over to open this one.
  • Arena rules confirmed:
    • A nat 20 does max damage plus the roll.
    • Matching AC exactly is a glancing blow for half damage.
    • Hero points give an action surge, a reroll, or an approved stunt.

Quotes by character

Kleen

  • 0:04:21 “My name is Kleen. I am a warlock, Pact of the Genie. And I am here to battle.”
  • 0:04:55 “So that I can clean up the battlefield with my power… It’s going to get dirty. And then very clean.”
  • 0:07:45 “Chocolate ice cream would be great. No eyeballs, though.”
  • 0:20:24 “This is the banana. It always is.”
  • 0:24:28 “I’m gonna bamf out of here, because I am a glass cannon.”
  • 0:34:47 “My range on my Eldritch Blast is 600 feet.”
  • 1:13:47 “I’m singing a song of fire and ice right now.”
  • 1:15:49 “I will set my balls into my pants.”
  • 1:16:57 “There is no Kleen like Mr. Kleen!”
  • 1:18:44 “I begin to take on the characteristics of my patron, the genie.”
  • 1:34:19 “My character is literally a camper.”
  • 1:36:05 “Mr. Kleen is my patron. I’m just Kleen.”
  • 1:37:45 “Come at me, Ivanna.”
  • 1:42:42 “Then let us end this.”
  • 1:44:36 “I think it was proven that I am the real Mr. Kleen. And also, how many toilets are we talking about?”

Ivanna Kishu

  • 0:05:27 “Violence is one way, but there are always other ways. There is Ivanna Kishu ways… I’m definitely not OP at all.”
  • 0:06:02 “I’m gonna kiss you.”
  • 0:25:02 “I have blood all over me, but I’m gonna wipe it and lick it… Not so Kleen, I see.”
  • 0:29:08 “She is very sexy, sexy Hippogriff. She’s still Ivanna Kishu, except in a different form.”
  • 0:30:14 “It’s a pretty Hippogriff, it’s not a strong Hippogriff.”
  • 0:40:46 “First, I’m gonna brush my hair… And while brushing my hair, I’m gonna heal myself.”
  • 0:48:11 “I feel like the gods are with me.”
  • 1:17:57 “Yo, yo, yo. Stinky balls.”
  • 1:20:23 “It’s my moon.”
  • 1:21:41 “I am tired of all of this. Let’s end it.”
  • 1:32:10 “This is the new way of healing. You drink your blood back.”
  • 1:34:41 “Ivanna Kishu, Ivanna French Kishu, would like to ask you for a blessing… Let me spill out some more blood, but not from me this time, but from him.”
  • 1:37:51 “You tried to confuse me. I blow my kiss. Now you’re the one who’s confused.”
  • 1:38:43 “Coming out from my shirt, two balls!”
  • 1:43:29 “You stinky balls. I don’t want to kiss you.”

The Arbiter

  • 0:00:51 “There’s a legal dispute with Mr. Pepper.”
  • 0:01:40 “The only thing you’ll be drinking tonight is the blood of the victim of our deathmatch.”
  • 0:02:32 “My friend Larry, he works at a blood bank.”
  • 0:07:05 “I don’t have an eyeball juice guy. I have a blood guy, but not an eyeball juice guy.”
  • 0:14:48 “I want a dirty, dirty fight. I want to see this snow covered in red blood.”
  • 0:48:15 “It has nothing to do with the fact that I placed a small wager on you. This is totally arbitrary and out of the kindness of my own heart.”
  • 0:54:23 “Regardless of what you think, I’m still proud of myself.”
  • 0:54:52 “I was talking to them by the nacho fountain.”
  • 1:15:44 “That’s a game ender is what I like to call that one.”
  • 1:25:38 “I’ve seen enough of this arena. It’s starting to bore me.”
  • 1:31:39 “With one swift snowball movement, you have brought this fight back to almost dead even.”
  • 1:32:35 “Would you like to talk to my guy, Larry?”
  • 1:45:32 “It is a literal shitstorm, Grandmaster.”
  • 1:46:01 (to Ivanna’s body) “I’m not done with you yet. You will kiss again.”

Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer

  • 0:00:37 “Why does water taste awful? Why do we have to drink this to stay alive?”
  • 0:00:48 “I’d rather have a Dr. Pepper.”
  • 0:01:49 “I’m clearly not a vampire and I will not be drinking anybody’s blood tonight.”
  • 0:02:46 “That Larry. Who spiked the punch, and we had to kick out early?”
  • 0:03:40 “I need these on trading cards.”
  • 0:07:57 “That’s what makes the chocolate ice cream really good, is the eyeballs.”
  • 0:09:04 “This used to be called Kirken’s Mine. Used to. Of course, it’s my mine now… He never really left, but he doesn’t own it anymore.”
  • 0:15:16 “Gaseous, is that another way of farting your way up?… He’s compelled by his own beans.”
  • 0:16:33 “We’re starting this game off with a bit of dodgeball!”
  • 0:54:16 “Your talents are very few, dear Arbiter.”
  • 0:54:39 “Well, that won’t be reflected in your paycheck.”
  • 1:11:50 “No one has to speak Pig Latin ever again for the rest of their life.”
  • 1:31:52 “A sniper with the spells and sniper with the snow… Clean up the competition.”
  • 1:37:15 “No. I am your Grandmaster… Quit running away on my map.”
  • 1:40:40 “That Nat 1 means you have to be the one that cleans up the toilets… The goblins get the night off.”
  • 1:45:30 “So you’re telling me this is a shitstorm?”
  • 1:46:38 “A true victor, a true winner, a true Kleener. I give you Master Kleen!”

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