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S2E10 — Filicide — Glassy v Thornabub

Properties1
tagsepisode, season-2

40 min read

Champions and playersGlorious George as Thornabub; Ms. Magitek (Tracy) as Glassy (Glacia)
ResultThornabub (Glassy is downed, then spared by an infernal contract that costs her boyfriend Jerry’s soul)
Arenathe Grandmaster’s fluorescent “wild garden” forest (glowing rune rock, sparkling stream, cliffs), later a root-filled pit that opens beneath it
HostsMudcat (the Arbiter, narration, Gerald) and Caustic Phoenix (Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer, chaos events)
WatchYouTube

What happens

Opening: the Grandmaster oversleeps

  1. 0:00:10 The Arbiter opens: “We weren’t here, but now we are. It’s magic.” “Call us David Copperfield.” The Grandmaster insists no one could beat David Copperfield: “the best magician in all the realms… just magnificent as a human being.” The Arbiter suggests having him fight to the death someday.
  2. 0:00:49 In the Dread Fortress, the Arbiter can’t find Elusia anywhere. He clacks through the halls and looks under the tables and in the dining halls. Finally he knocks at her bed chamber: “Grandmaster, are you still in bed?”
  3. 0:01:37 Daylight saving time has thrown her off. She clunks out of bed and rips the door open, disheveled and wild: “I cannot function when time keeps changing.” The Arbiter notes she went to bed at 5 p.m. She says her body “has to sleep for 12 days.” She orders him to pull out a pen and tell the authorities that daylight saving is stupid, and proposes a policy change.
  4. 0:02:53 The Arbiter: “technically you’re in charge of everything here.” A connection snaps in her head: she is the ruler, so she can ignore it. She slams the door. There’s a whirling sound of things being thrown, and she reemerges with her crown in place, fully decorated: “Everything is fine and of course I have full control of my realm.”
  5. 0:03:56 A recruitment plan: no daylight saving time plus David Copperfield will make the Void “the next hottest location for everyone to move.” The Arbiter will contact the Board of Tourism. The GM recommends flyers.
  6. 0:04:36 The Arbiter reminds her that a Deathmatch is happening right now (“after nine”). Still flustered, she throws away the pen and paper with her marketing notes: “How can I forget the deathmatches that we have every week?”

The champions: family drama

  1. 0:05:15 The Arbiter knows the GM likes soap operas, TV and Hallmark movies, and that “the best kind of drama is… family drama.” He introduces Glassy versus Thornabub.
  2. 0:06:00 — Thornabub has come to retrieve his daughter, “Glassy Bear,” and bring her back to the Nine Hells, where “her mother is worried sick.” The GM: “Aww, a concerned father.” He calls the Nine Hells the best place to raise a family and offers the GM a timeshare there: “quite affordable… just a little bit of paperwork.” The Arbiter asks whether they can afford one; the GM warns that the dates you want are often blocked out.
  3. 0:06:58 — Glassy interrupts: “Don’t let him put you into anything.” She is “not part of that life anymore” and doesn’t need his “scummy deals” or soul coins. Thornabub: “Those scummy deals have been putting food on your plate for eons.” He threatens to drag her back himself.
  4. 0:08:02 Glassy introduces herself. Her full name is Glacia. Her dad says she was named after one of the lords of the Nine Hells; the line is garbled, but it apparently mentions the daughter of Asmodeus. Her friends on the material plane (transcribed “Mysterio plane”) call her Glassy. She was told that if she ends her dad tonight, she can finally have her freedom and never go back to the Nine Hells.
  5. 0:08:50 The Arbiter: “We’re bringing families to resolve their issues.” The GM: “Resolve them once and for all.” The arena is “a place of truth,” family relations included.
  6. 0:09:01 — Everyone is in her bedroom. The Arbiter summoned the champions there. The GM shrugs off the slippers she forgot to take off, pulls the sheets back over her bed and shoves the dirty laundry aside. The Arbiter: “Everyone’s house is dirty.” A poster of David Copperfield hangs in the corner. Thornabub asks whether it’s young or old David Copperfield, and asks Glassy whether she wants to live “in squalor like this.”
  7. 0:09:57 Thornabub asks where the infernal pitchforks and the valley of the damned are. The Arbiter and GM reply that the Dread Fortress has a pitchfork closet. It has a golden door handle, shelves and a nice backsplash, and it also holds the rice and dry goods. The GM learned to install the backsplash “off of a YouTube video.” She declines to be judged by her space: “Arbiter, take us someplace else so I don’t have to feel so insecure about my choices.”

Gerald’s new box

  1. 0:10:41 The Arbiter has a surprise. Gerald’s box was getting old and rough around the edges, so the Acolytes, specifically an Acolyte called “great to be a gator,” commissioned a new Box of Chaos. The GM: “He needed something fresh… he’s been through a lot.” She loves it, including “the health bars that pop up through it,” which the Arbiter gets rid of. “Look at him. He’s just on fire.” She hopes it appears tonight; the Arbiter says it definitely will.

The arena: the Grandmaster’s forest

  1. 0:12:06 The Arbiter slices open space and time and rips a portal into a very fluorescent forest. Glassy asks her dad if he’s ever seen a forest. Thornabub says they’re all the same as “the forest of the damned in Avernus, the forest of ice and bone in Nessus.” The GM objects: “This is a special forest that is curated just for me. It’s a wild garden.” Thornabub: “This color palette is so gauche.”
  2. 0:13:06 — Purple hair. Glassy’s new purple hair matches the forest. Thornabub says she’ll undo it as soon as they get to Avernus: “What is your mother, Violtha, going to think?” Glassy thinks her mother would love it. The GM rules that the purple hair gives Glassy advantage on Stealth if she hides. “Here, here for changing hair color!” The GM sticks her tongue out at Thornabub.
  3. 0:13:58 The Arbiter sides with Thornabub: “My money’s on you. People don’t respect their elders… the youth of today, over the last thousand years or so, has really gone downhill.” Thornabub: “You try to raise a damned family from the dead… and she just runs off.” The Arbiter offers him a drink after the fight if he survives. Thornabub: “Let me just beat my daughter to a pulp first.” The Arbiter: “Once you’ve… murdered your daughter, then you and I will grab a drink.”
  4. 0:14:52 — The GM describes the forest.
    • Spindly trees reach 40–50 ft and arch over a small platform.
    • A glowing rock with an aura gives off “a different feeling” as you get closer.
    • The water sparkles, “but perhaps it’s not just plain water.”
    • The forest “has a life of its own and certainly knows how to defend itself… It is a place I hold dear. Use its resources, lest it turn on you.”
  5. 0:15:45 She flies up to the Acolytes (“Good evening… or morning, or whatever it is that daylight has done to your schedule”). She reminds them their voice can sway the fight through channel points and chants, then takes a seat next to Doug the pug.

The Box of Chaos arrives

  1. 0:17:06 The Acolytes have summoned the Box of Chaos, the new one. It slams down in the middle of the arena, and the sound echoes across the forest. Purple, pink and yellow flames shoot out, cool to the touch. Gerald, a small shadowy silhouette, peeks over the edge. Anyone may sacrifice to the box for a magic item of unknown rarity; “the more personal, the better.” The GM: “Gerald doesn’t bite, or at least he hasn’t yet. I mean, I can if you’re into that” (the second sentence may be Gerald; speaker uncertain). Glassy: “Spooky Gerald.”
  2. 0:18:43 — Placement. Glassy starts on the rocks at the edge of the platform. Thornabub starts kneeling beside a gentle stream. They stare across the river at each other. Glassy needles her dad for rolling slowly: “Any time today, Dad… So slow. God.” Initiative: Glassy 18, Thornabub 10. Thornabub: “Go for what now?” Glassy: “Initiative, Dad. It’s what we use to fight.”

Chaos events — the sky magnet and the sandbox trees (0:20:24)

  1. Two chaos events have already been triggered. Thornabub rolls a nat 1 (“1 is because I’m the best, right?” Glassy: “Yeah, yep. Totally”). It brings up the first chaos event the GM ever wrote down. The clouds part and a shiny metallic disc appears, vibrating and humming, growing from a speck as it descends.
  2. 0:22:19 On a Survival check, Glassy, higher up, feels a tug on anything metal she carries and knows that in about four rounds it will pull hard on everything metallic. She wonders whether her staff (her casting focus) is metal. She keeps the information to herself and just looks a little concerned.
  3. 0:23:51 — Sandbox trees. At two spots the Arbiter picks, roots gather, sprout and shoot up into vast trees nearly 60 ft tall, covered in sharp spikes. Their Survival checks are poor, so all they learn is: “This is a very spiky tree.” The GM hints with a d3 roll (“Take that information for what you will”). The magnet hangs over the center of the map and comes closer each round. These are chaos events to “sit on and see how these hatch, hibernate… fester.” Thornabub: “Do I get to beat my daughter yet?”

Round 1

  1. 0:26:44 Glassy: “Well, you ain’t getting anywhere near me.” Because of the magnet, she takes off her necklace, kisses it and throws it on the ground (Thornabub: “Your mother bought you that necklace”). She throws her belt down too, but keeps her staff.
  2. 0:27:12 “I’ve wanted to do this for so long… You’re a stupid, filthy, evil jerk, and I hate you.” She casts Hex on her father. Thornabub: “I already know all of that.” The Arbiter: hexing him is “a little across the line.” The GM: “When you let it sit for a long time, it builds up.”
  3. 0:28:24 Glassy steps down off the platform to get in range and casts Lightning Lure: “I just learned this from my new boyfriend. He knows lightning magic.” The GM: “He’s an electrician. Sparks between the two of you.” Thornabub fails and is yanked 10 ft across the river by a lash of lightning. Thornabub (speaker uncertain): “She really does not like her dad… now you’ve made me mad.” Glassy: “You’re always mad.”
  4. 0:30:37 Thornabub spreads his wings so he doesn’t land in the water, then flies up and away. He provokes an opportunity attack, which Glassy takes and misses. He circles as far as 30 ft allows, then dashes straight back at her. With the Charger feat he makes a bonus-action warhammer swing that misses, though “woof,” there was a lot of force behind it. The Arbiter: “It looked really cool.” Thornabub: “Don’t cheer him on… Stand still. Take your beating like I taught you.” Glassy: “No.”
  5. 0:32:06 — “Glassy Bear.” Thornabub: “You never talk that way to me at home.” Glassy: “You think that you have so much power over me, over everybody in the Nine Hells.” Thornabub: “I rule a small demiplane of hell. That gives me lots of power over people.” “What’s the point of having power if I don’t let it get to my head, Glassy Bear?” “Do not call me Glassy Bear in front of these people.” “Even as I’m trying to kill you in this death arena, you will always be my Glassy Bear.”
  6. 0:33:06 — Roll-off. Thornabub’s Intimidation is set against Glassy’s Persuasion to resist it. Glassy wins, 19 to 9. The GM: “She’s grown a lot as a daughter… She knows who she is. And it’s not Glassy Bear.” Thornabub: “She doesn’t know who she is. I haven’t told her who she is yet.”
  7. 0:34:22 — The boyfriend and the arranged marriage.
    • Glassy has made her own life on the material plane: “I live in Luskan.”
    • Thornabub: “Are you talking about that boyfriend, Jerry?” Glassy: “He’s amazing… He’s a wizard.”
    • Her parents arranged for her to marry Mahadi, “a very nice rakshasa” (transcribed “Rock Sasha”). Thornabub says he has his own business and connections with Asmodeus. Glassy: “I am not marrying a tiger freak.”
    • The GM thought the name was “my hottie.” The Arbiter: rakshasas are “very sturdy, very dependable.” Thornabub: “and very limber too.”
    • Thornabub needs a limber husband for her so she can “spawn for me an army of infernal creatures to take over the material plane.” Glassy: “Hell no.” The Arbiter: “I’m not sure I’m old enough to hear any of this.” Thornabub: “The mother and I have already discussed this and we have made that decision for her.”
    • A line, speaker uncertain: ”…And that’s why he needs to die tonight.” The Arbiter: “I definitely am starting to understand.”

Round 2

  1. 0:36:29 Glassy: “On the material plane, there are good people and you need to stop.” Thornabub: “I know that, Glassy Bear. And we’re going to kill all of them one day.”
  2. 0:36:42 Glassy casts Lightning Bolt, another spell “I learned from my boo.” Thornabub: “I’m so sick of hearing about Jerry.” Glassy: “Purple hair and lightning. And transmutation magic. I also just love transmutation magic.” The Arbiter: “Who doesn’t?”
  3. 0:39:10 — The Sun Sword. Thornabub backs up to the Box of Chaos and cuts his hand as a blood sacrifice (“Come on, Gerald, give me something good. I need to punish my daughter”). The GM: “We do love a good blood sacrifice.” The blood drips all over Gerald’s face. The lid pops open, a column of heatless flame shoots up, and a sword floats into his hands: the Sun Sword, “belonging to the brother of Strahd.” Glassy: “Oh my god!”
    • It is sentient, chaotic good, Intelligence 11, with sun blade properties: radiant damage, it emits light, and it adds a bonus.
    • Because of his infernal nature, he would attack with it at disadvantage.
    • The Acolytes ask whether it’s “sun” or “son,” as in Glassy has a sibling. The Arbiter: “I like to think it’s S-O-N.” Thornabub: “It’s my son’s sword. The one I used to beat him with earlier today.”
    • “Thanks for nothing, Gerald.” He kicks the chest. It’s “probably burning my hands just from holding it,” so he shoves the sword back into the box. “This has never happened to me before.”
  4. 0:43:43 — Gerald favors Glassy. “Do better, Gerald!” Gerald feels slighted and spits out the Helm of the Gods for Glassy. It senses celestials and fiends within 30 ft, stores a spell after praying to a god at a long rest, and has three charges. Thornabub: “Why was that for me, Gerald?… Am I not a god, Gerald?”
  5. 0:45:04 — Touch of Death.
    • Thornabub rushes Glassy and misses with the warhammer.
    • He uses Action Surge, flies back out (her opportunity attack misses) and charges again.
    • This hit lands: bludgeoning, Divine Strike, the Charger bonus, and then Channel Divinity: Touch of Death for an extra 21 necrotic. “Have you learned your lesson yet?” Glassy: “Holy shit.”
  6. 0:47:03 The Arbiter: “This is getting bloody… They may actually kill each other like right away.” Thornabub: “If I die, I go to the Nine Hells and I’ll do this again in a hundred years.” The Arbiter: “These people paid a lot of money to watch you guys kill each other… I’m going to lose a lot of money if you don’t go at least three or four rounds.”
  7. 0:48:00 Glassy: “This is kind of personal and he just beat the shit out of me.” Asked her age, she says “I’m 18.” The reply (speaker uncertain, probably the Arbiter): “he’s been torturing you for 18 years.” The GM: “Torture him for a good length as well. Let him feel the pain.” Thornabub: “I’ve been trying to teach her how to torture people correctly for years… oh, I don’t want to torture the innocent. It’s ridiculous. It’s the family business.”
  8. 0:49:06 — Gifts. The Acolytes give each champion a hero point. The GM explains hero points. Looking specifically at Glassy, she says: “I don’t want you to give up. Keep fighting for who you are.” She throws down a health potion for each champion (Glassy 11, Thornabub 10). “This is something that we do not get over quickly. Fight it out!”
  9. 0:50:53 — Doug. The Arbiter rolls a nat 20 at the end of the round: “Suck it, Doug.” The GM: “You leave Doug out of this.” Doug whimpers and hides under the Grandmaster’s throne. Arbiter: “Cower before me, Doug!” GM: “Do you feel great, bullying a cute little puppy?” Arbiter: “His skin is falling off of his face.” GM: “What’s your excuse then? Put on some lotion every now and then.”

Round 3

  1. 0:51:50 — Blinded. Thornabub spends his hero point to cast Blindness/Deafness out of turn while they bicker. Glassy: “That’s not very heroic of you.” Thornabub: “I’m not heroic, daughter. I’m an evil devil from the Nine Hells.” Glassy rolls a natural 1 and is blinded. “As blind as your mother was when she allowed you to go to the mortal plane.” Glassy: “I wish I was deaf so I didn’t have to hear you anymore.” Her Hex has dropped, from a concentration save she failed earlier. He taunts her with Thaumaturgy so she can’t tell where his voice is coming from.
  2. 0:53:05 — The rune. Remembering her surroundings, Glassy Misty Steps toward “this little rune.” Her Survival check of 19 puts her right at it. She touches the rune with her staff. It shatters with white light, and a blue aura seeps up the staff through her hands and her whole body. She can’t see it, but she glows “a very translucent blue glow stick.” Thornabub: “You look ridiculous glowing blue like that.” Glassy: “You say I look ridiculous with anything I do.” The rune grants her an Action Surge.
  3. 0:54:46 Blind, she reaches for Magic Missile. Thornabub: “That is the dumbest spell I have ever heard of… Did Jerry teach you that one too?” Glassy: “This one I learned on my own… I’m independent.” The Arbiter rules she can’t target what she can’t see. Thornabub: “You can’t even do that right, daughter.”
  4. 0:55:40 “I’ll just use the magic that the Nine Hells gave me… My Eldritch magic… Here, Dad, are you happy?” “I’d be happier if you hit.” Both Eldritch Blast beams miss (the Arbiter: “She can’t even count her Eldritch Blast”; Thornabub: “You would if you were practicing like I taught you”). The blasts crack through the forest, and the trees shake and rumble as if upset.
  5. 0:56:58 With her Action Surge she casts Spider Climb and dashes about 40 ft up the cliff above the rune (“theater of the mind”). She sticks her tongue out at him, though she can’t see him.
  6. 0:58:07 Thornabub: “I could easily crush you right now. But the Grandmaster and Arbiter insist on making it slow. So I will give them the show they want.” He casts Aura of Vitality on himself (the GM: “self-care is really important”), then Toll the Dead: “The end is coming for you, daughter.” She fails (“Thankfully I’m very wise. No thanks to you”). “Do you hear that bell, daughter? It’s mommy calling you home again.”
  7. 0:59:24 Glassy: “Can you take this stupid blindness off of me and make this an actual fair fight?” Thornabub instead lets Aura of Vitality drop after one use to keep concentrating on the blindness. “You will stay blind until you accept defeat and come home to the Nine Hells.” The Arbiter: “That’s petty and I like it.”
  8. 0:59:48 — Bargaining with Gerald. Thornabub sidles up to the box: “Let’s say you and me got off on the wrong foot… I did give you my blood.” Gerald (Drew): “Yeah, but I’ve already tasted your blood. What else you got?” Thornabub’s Persuasion fails (“Now I have to make a stat card for Gerald”). Gerald: “I do enjoy blood, but maybe give me a second option.”
  9. 1:01:02 — Zombie raccoons. Thornabub offers to make Gerald a zombie. There are no humanoid bodies. The GM points at the one crawling out of the box; Gerald: “You can’t make me a zombie. I’m not dead.” Thornabub casts Animate Dead on dead forest animals, and a few undead raccoons or squirrels scamper over and leap into the box. Gerald: “I’ve always wanted a pet… I will name him Francisco.” “Listen, I have a soul and now I have a raccoon zombie.” Thornabub: “One day someone’s going to open the box and a bunch of undead squirrels are just going to leap out.” The GM will be “adding details about Gerald’s squirrels later.” Meanwhile, Glassy pats the rocks to work out where she is.
  10. 1:03:13 Gerald is “running low on supplies, but this is the best I got”: a +1 metallic breastplate, stacked on top of his armor. It’s not his size. It makes him look fat, his flesh popping out at weird angles. “It’s a shmedium. I used to be a shmedium back when I was interning for Asmodeus.” GM: “You look great.” “Yes, I know I look great.” Thornabub: “I like this color palette.”
  11. 1:04:16 The GM calls a 10-minute breather. When they return, the magnet is about to trigger. The Arbiter adds that a third chaos event has been triggered: “I think the Acolytes are trying to kill you all.”

After the break — Round 4

  1. 1:05:01 The Arbiter rolls for the third chaos event: a 5.
  2. 1:05:38 — The sandbox trees fire. The trees quiver and shoot out their spikes, “grenades that grow in the ground,” at anyone within 60 ft. Thornabub fails his Dex save. Glassy, blind, saves at disadvantage and still rolls a nat 20. “You are daredeviling it up,” sensing the spikes and rolling and dipping until none hit her. Thornabub is caught in the crossfire from both trees and takes poison damage (“What does even a sandbox tree do?”). He keeps concentration on the blindness.
  3. 1:08:32 — Darkness. For the third event, “maybe this will even the playing field,” the Grandmaster waves her hand and casts Darkness over the whole arena for one round. Glassy notices nothing change. Thornabub: “More things getting in my way.”
  4. 1:10:10 Glassy recovers, casting False Life at 2nd level (13 temp HP), and stays as far away as she can. Thornabub: “You still have a hero point.” Glassy: “I like to think before I just do things and I’m saving it for something special.” Thornabub: “What? Like your wedding day with Jerry?” “You’re not going to be invited.”
  5. 1:11:22 Thornabub: “When we’re done here, I’m going to find Jerry and I’m going to drown him in this river.” Glassy: “Don’t touch Jerry… Unless you want to face real Hellish Rebuke, father… And his name’s Gary.” Thornabub: “Jerry, Gary, Harry, Larry, I don’t care. Dumb names for a dumb boyfriend.” Intimidation versus Intimidation: Glassy wins 15 to 7 and gains advantage on her next attack, which cancels her blindness.
  6. 1:12:39 In the darkness, Thornabub stumbles and trips up the steps as he climbs: “This is your last warning.” He starts a Toll the Dead but realizes he can’t see her (“Never mind. I can’t see them”; GM: “Oh, how the tables have turned”; Arbiter: “What good is magic if you can’t do it with your eyes closed?”). Instead he summons a Spiritual Weapon in the form of a massive flaming hammer: “Time to bring the hammer down.” It hits for 4 force. Glassy: “That was nothing.” Thornabub: “It’s the small cuts that cut deep, daughter. Again, I want this to last.”
  7. 1:14:34 Thornabub drops the blindness, thinking they’re both blind in the darkness anyway and not realizing it ends soon. GM: “Why extend the effort?”
  8. 1:15:23 — Doug saves the Arbiter. The Arbiter’s end-of-round roll is a 1. Thornabub: “When you get up there in age, you know, it happens.” The Arbiter: “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” GM: “Oh, you should be embarrassed.” Doug comes out laughing or coughing (pugs “have a lot of breathing problems”). Arbiter: “Suck it, Doug.” Doug rolls a 12 to help him, and that’s enough.

The magnet triggers (1:16:45)

  1. The magnet whirls and charges, pulling everything metal into the sky. Each champion may try to hold on to up to two objects.
  2. 1:17:08 — Thornabub stripped. He holds his warhammer and holy symbol. His breastplate and chainmail rip off “like tearaway clothing,” leaving him bare-chested. The Arbiter: “Like those pants from the 90s.” His shield flies away too. On his Strength saves the hammer slips. He asks whether he could fly up and land on top of the magnet. He chooses to let the hammer go, keep his holy symbol, and stay on the ground (“As much as that pains me”).
  3. 1:17:36 — Glassy rides it up. She tries to keep her new helm on her head and fails the save. The GM offers her the chance to go with it. She chooses to ride the magnet up 50 ft, holding her helm and staff, and ends up stuck to its underside. She can see and speak but can’t move.
  4. 1:20:23 — The pit. The magnet pulls up so much dirt, rock and metal (minerals out of the ground and the stream) that the ground gives way. Thornabub’s wings let him float down unhurt into a pit that opens in the forest, revealing the tree roots above: “a dark and dingy area… a mildewy dankness,” in contrast to the fluorescent forest. Glassy now hangs 70 ft above the ground. Initiative is rerolled: Thornabub 11, Glassy 4.

Round 5

  1. 1:22:44 Thornabub’s spiritual hammer hits Glassy for 4. Since the magnet is kept aloft by magic, he dashes up 60 ft to within 10 ft of her. “Glassy Bear, this is your last warning, daughter.” (“Don’t call me that.”) He’s preparing “something rather devious.”
  2. 1:24:03 Glassy shields herself against the incoming debris (Con save 13). Her Spider Climb drops, “but that’s fine, I’m still magnetic.”
  3. 1:25:02 Thornabub: “Glassy Bear, you can’t push away your father.” She doesn’t answer. She hurls a bubble of acid at him (11 acid): “I don’t want you anywhere near me. I don’t want you anywhere near my life. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.” His Spiritual Weapon is gone. The GM: with no breastplate or shield, “it’s going to leave a mark.”
  4. 1:25:52 — The scar. Thornabub: “Another fine scar for the collection.” Asked about another, he says: “I have a scar on my back. It’s two claw marks that go across my back underneath my wings that was left by her mother.” GM: “Good for you all.” “It’s important to have a healthy relationship.”
  5. 1:26:29 Glassy spends sorcery points to Quicken a second acid bubble “just because that brought joy to me” (9 more acid). Thornabub: “Enjoy it while it lasts, daughter. I’m about to end this fight.”
  6. 1:27:24 Glassy: “You don’t know me anymore. I know a lot of powerful spells too. And I’ve been holding back on what I can really do… So your threats mean nothing to me anymore.” Thornabub: “You’re right, daughter. I need to respect your space. And I will do exactly that.”

Round 6 — the magnet falls

  1. 1:28:07 Thornabub flies on top of the magnet and casts Dispel Magic on whatever keeps it floating, riding it 70 ft down. The GM: whatever is underneath “will bear a brunt of great damage.” The great magnet debate: the GM says the magnet part is “science.” The Arbiter: “There are two things that I know for certain: magnets are magic and the earth is flat.”
  2. 1:29:52 The GM reminds Glassy of her hero point. Glassy unclasps the Helm of the Gods and lets it go (it’s lost with the magnet), tries to keep her staff, casts Feather Fall as a reaction, and spends her hero point to roll out from under the plummeting magnet. She makes the DC 13 Dex save with an 18 and drifts free.
  3. 1:31:08 — The setup. Thornabub’s wings stop his own fall. As she floats past, he takes an opportunity attack: an unarmed strike that rolls a natural 20. He spends his last Channel Divinity on Touch of Death again, for 28 damage total. “I will see you in hell, daughter!” Whack, across the face. The GM: “We are playing chess tonight… Clever.”
  4. 1:33:26 Glassy is down, conscious but dying as she feather-falls to the ground with her father floating above her.

The contract

  1. 1:33:41 Glassy: “Before I die, could I make a pact… Father.” Thornabub: “You want a pact with me, daughter?” “If it will spare me.” Thornabub: “It will cost you Jerry’s soul.”
  2. 1:34:21 Glassy: “Jerry wasn’t that good of a boyfriend anyway. I think he wasn’t really a lightning wizard.” Thornabub: “I think he was just an electrician. Sign here.” He produces an infernal contract. She signs with her last breath without reading it. The Arbiter: “Oh boy.”
  3. 1:35:10 In exchange, Thornabub casts Aura of Vitality and heals her. “Very well, daughter. Your mother and I and Jerry will be looking forward to seeing you at Christmas.” Glassy: “So be it. I will not die this day. Not yet, at least.”
  4. 1:35:52 — Thornabub wins. “Well, I got what I came here for. Grandmaster, does that mean I win?” The Grandmaster floats down between them, a hand on each shoulder: “We will respect the battle that has taken place here tonight and the contract that was signed.” She nods to Thornabub: “From one ruler to another, I applaud you and I respect your dominion.” Thornabub: “Had I known you had such fine decor sitting under that gaudy map above, I would have kept my comments to myself.” GM: “All right, you can shove it.” Thornabub: “Well, I’ll see you in hell.” GM: “Arbiter, see him out.”
  5. 1:37:13 — Pub crawl. The Arbiter: “How about that drink, Thornabub?” They plan a pub crawl, starting either at the Arbiter’s place “right around the…” or Thornabub’s. The Arbiter splits open a portal. Thornabub: “We do have to stop in Luskan. I have to pick up Jerry’s soul.” The Arbiter: “Contracts are so tricky… on the way.”
  6. 1:37:47 — The GM to Glassy. “Today was not your battle, was it?… But I do not want you to give up hope. You know, there are many battles that I have lost before. My own kingdom that I had to leave for some time. But you are young. And you have fight. And that tongue you have is fierce with words. Do not ever lose that flame.” She raises Glassy up toward the Acolytes, who cheered for her throughout. “This is not your last chapter… Jerry may just be another page in your book.”
  7. 1:39:04 To the Acolytes: “Not all battles we embrace are won just because we desire it… the contracts we sign may bind us, we will find time to grow stronger… continue to fight for your dreams, for your freedom.” “Glassy, you are an inspiration. Do not let me down.”
  8. 1:40:20 Glassy: “I will not let you down. I will not let anybody down anymore. This is a new chapter for Glassy.” The Acolytes throw their drinks in the air and go wild for her name. “Welcome and good night to D20 Deathmatch!”

Dried Blood (after-show)

In-character lines (canon, Dried Blood)

  • 1:41:13 Jerry’s soul was taken but he is “kinda alive-ish” (Bec). Glassy (Tracy): “He wasn’t using it anyway?” Arbiter: “He was an electrician. Do they even have souls?”
  • 1:51:24 The bar is “a little seedy dive bar… with neon signs” (Bec). Thornabub asks whether Gerald is union. The Arbiter: “We pay him in… table scraps and stuff… drop of blood here, drop of blood there.”
  • 1:51:42 Arbiter: “He had a girlfriend. She was in the Deathmatch a little while back. She rubbed me the wrong way.” Then (tagged 02, probably Drew): “She works on our bee farm now, but I modified her memory so she doesn’t remember him.” Then: “I didn’t care for the way that she talked to me.” Drew also says, out of character at 1:51:03, that “He had a girlfriend who doesn’t remember him now.”
  • 1:52:02 Thornabub: “You can go far in the Nine Hells… We can get you set up with like a 401k, benefits.” The Arbiter has never been.
  • 1:52:14 Arbiter: “Listen, between you and me, I’ve been trying to overthrow the Grandmaster for years. For years.” Thornabub: “We could help with that. We have infernal legions that my daughter’s gonna give birth to in a few years.” Glassy (Tracy): “Oh my god!”
  • 1:49:23 Tracy: “Adam is my brother.” George: “The brother that I was beating with the Sun Sword.” This makes the “son’s sword” joke a named brother, Adam. Whether it’s canon is ambiguous.
  • 1:56:21 — Final words (asked “from yourself or your character”):
    • Thornabub/George: “Always be closing. On devil deals or deathmatches, always be closing.”
    • Glassy/Tracy: “This is not the end. I will come back with an oath of vengeance… I’m coming back as a paladin… I’m going to swear an oath to the Grandmaster.”
    • The GM: “I will be your benefactor… You’re going to have the nicest armor out there.”

Out-of-character (creator notes)

  • The river was acidic (Bec, 1:47:15). George had forgotten that Charger could push Glassy 10 ft into it. He jokes “We never taught her how to swim… not a lot of swimming happening in the Nine Hells”; Bec says there are no community pools down there.
  • The pit was meant to hold spiders ready to web the champions; it went unused. Drew didn’t expect the magnet to be used that way and called it a cool finish.
  • Jerry’s name was George’s improvisation. Tracy said yes-and to it. The contract at the end was also unplanned. Tracy is known for signing contracts in their D&D games.
  • Glassy’s build: a warlock/sorcerer. The warlock power comes from her infernal heritage and pacts with her dad; the sorcerer magic is “my own… independence.” Bec compared her to Todoroki. Tracy held back Banishment, meant to send her dad back to the Nine Hells. George: Thornabub has −1 Charisma.
  • George’s combo: Crusher and Charger feats, wings for 60 ft charges, and Channel Divinity Touch of Death. He used his hero point early because he expected the magnet to strand him in his plate. He had planned a last-ditch “You’ll always be my Glassy Bear” plea with a single tear, then Death Ward.
  • Drew had never played Curse of Strahd except the offshoot Tracy DM’d on her channel (“Strahd Ask”?), so he read the Sun Sword on the fly. Magic item rolls on that table are hit or miss.
  • Bec wants dead raccoon art for Francisco. George suggests Forgotten Adventures ghost tokens. Drew: “You wouldn’t believe how much lore we’re building out about the Box of Chaos… He’s got a name, it’s Gerald. He had a girlfriend who doesn’t remember him now.”
  • Idea floated: a Christmas one-shot at the Thornabub household (“Momo play your mother”), possibly for Patreon. Also a possible rematch with Glassy as a paladin.
  • This was George’s first time on someone else’s channel. He worried about crossing lines while playing a devil. Drew: “We do not support domestic violence on D20 Deathmatch.” George played “the heel,” citing the WWE comparison.
  • Ms. Magitek is 0–2 in the arena. She previously lost to Adam when chat summoned “the floor is lava.” Drew joked it will be 0–3 “once the Arbiter kills Locket”: her Tabaxi ranger Locket is in Fate of the Arbiter, with Big Daddy Teej and Anubis. Drew: one-shots “explored the Arbiter’s treachery… against the Grandmaster.” Tracy: “There’s a whole resistance.”
  • George compared the show to MST3K, a “whole iceberg of lore.” Drew and Bec recently saw MST3K live.

Who and what appears

Characters

Thornabub (Glorious George). A winged devil from the Nine Hells who rules a small demiplane of hell.

  • Family:
    • Glassy’s father. His wife is Violtha.
    • Mentions a son whose sword he beat him with (Dried Blood names the brother Adam).
  • Career: a dealmaker in timeshares and soul coins with “connections” to Asmodeus. He once interned for Asmodeus, back when he was “a shmedium.” “It’s the family business”: he tried for years to teach Glassy to torture properly.
  • Body: he has two claw-mark scars across his back under his wings, left by Glassy’s mother.
  • Gear and powers:
    • Warhammer, shield, chainmail, holy symbol.
    • Charger feat and Channel Divinity: Touch of Death.
    • Blindness/Deafness, Thaumaturgy, Aura of Vitality, Toll the Dead, Spiritual Weapon (a massive flaming hammer), Animate Dead, Dispel Magic.
  • What he wants: to drag Glassy home to Avernus and marry her to the rakshasa Mahadi so she can spawn infernal legions to take over the material plane.
  • What he gave up: returned the Sun Sword to the box. Lost his armor, shield and hammer to the magnet.
  • Outcome: won by downing Glassy and taking Jerry’s soul by infernal contract. He’s expecting her (and Jerry) at Christmas. Left for a pub crawl with the Arbiter via Luskan.

Glassy / Glacia (“Glassy Bear”) (Ms. Magitek / Tracy). Thornabub’s 18-year-old daughter (her race isn’t stated in the episode; Drew calls the two champions tieflings in Dried Blood).

  • Name: named after a lord of the Nine Hells.
  • Her life now: she left the Nine Hells and lives in Luskan on the material plane. She has new purple hair.
  • Jerry/Gary: her boyfriend, a wizard (or “just an electrician”). He taught her lightning magic (Lightning Lure, Lightning Bolt).
  • Magic:
    • Loves transmutation magic.
    • Infernal warlock magic (Eldritch Blast, Hex), “the magic that the Nine Hells gave me,” plus sorcery (Quickened acid, Misty Step, Spider Climb, False Life, Feather Fall).
  • During the fight:
    • Threw away her mother’s necklace.
    • Absorbed the rune’s blue glow.
    • Received the Helm of the Gods from Gerald, then lost it to the magnet.
  • Outcome: downed, then sold Jerry’s soul for her life by an unread infernal contract. The GM called her an inspiration. She vows a new chapter. In Dried Blood she says she will return as an oath-of-vengeance paladin sworn to the Grandmaster.

Jerry (or Gary). Glassy’s boyfriend in Luskan, a “lightning wizard” or electrician. His soul now belongs to Thornabub per the contract. “Kinda alive-ish.”

Violtha. Glassy’s mother in the Nine Hells, “worried sick.” She bought Glassy’s necklace and clawed Thornabub’s back. Thornabub says “Mommy” is calling Glassy home.

Mahadi. A rakshasa businessman with connections to Asmodeus. Glassy’s arranged fiancé. “Tiger freak,” “very limber.”

Gerald / the Box of Chaos (Drew).

  • Now housed in a new box commissioned by the Acolytes. It throws cool purple, pink and yellow flame, and Gerald is a small shadowy silhouette.
  • He talks: he enjoys blood but wants variety, and says “I have a soul.”
  • He gave the Sun Sword, the Helm of the Gods and a +1 breastplate. He got angry at Thornabub returning the sword and favored Glassy.
  • He now keeps undead raccoons or squirrels in the box as pets; one is named Francisco.
  • Dried Blood: he’s paid in table scraps and drops of blood. He had a girlfriend who fought in a Deathmatch “a little while back”; she now works on the bee farm with her memory of him modified.

The Arbiter (Drew).

  • Found the GM asleep, and plans tourism flyers.
  • Sided with Thornabub: “people don’t respect their elders.”
  • Gambling: “I’m going to lose a lot of money” on a short fight.
  • Bullies Doug.
  • Believes magnets are magic and the earth is flat.
  • Went for drinks with Thornabub. Dried Blood: confides he has been trying to overthrow the Grandmaster “for years.”

Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer (Bec).

  • Thrown by daylight saving time; slept from 5 p.m. Realized she can ignore it as ruler.
  • Her bed chamber has a David Copperfield poster. She curated the forest arena as her wild garden.
  • Sat with Doug.
  • Cast Darkness over the arena as a chaos event.
  • Respected Thornabub “from one ruler to another.” Told Glassy she has lost many battles, and once had to leave her own kingdom “for some time.”

Doug the pug. Sits beside the GM. His “skin is falling off his face.” He hid under the throne when the Arbiter bullied him, then laughed or coughed at the Arbiter’s 1 and rolled a 12 to help him.

“great to be a gator”. An Acolyte who commissioned Gerald’s new box.

Places

  • Dread Fortress:
    • The GM’s bed chamber, with its David Copperfield poster.
    • The pitchfork closet: golden handle, shelves, backsplash, rice and dry goods.
    • Dining halls.
  • The Grandmaster’s wild-garden forest arena:
    • Fluorescent colors and spindly 40–50 ft trees.
    • A rocky platform and a glowing rune rock that grants a blue glow and an Action Surge.
    • Sparkling (acidic, per Dried Blood) stream and cliffs.
    • The trees shake when hit.
    • A dank, mildewy underground root pit opened by the magnet.
  • The Nine Hells: Avernus (forest of the damned), Nessus (forest of ice and bone), and Thornabub’s demiplane.
  • Luskan (material plane), where Glassy and Jerry live.
  • The bee farm (Dried Blood), where Gerald’s ex-girlfriend works.

Items

Lore statements

  • The Grandmaster can ignore daylight saving time because she rules the realm. There is a Board of Tourism.
  • The Acolytes commissioned a new box for Gerald. Gerald can be bargained with and accepts non-blood offerings (undead animals).
  • The forest arena is the GM’s own curated place and “knows how to defend itself.”
  • Champions can come from the Nine Hells and the material plane (Luskan).
  • The Arbiter bets money on fight length (“These people paid a lot of money”).
  • The GM: “My own kingdom that I had to leave for some time.”
  • Dried Blood, in character: the Arbiter has been trying to overthrow the Grandmaster “for years.”

Quotes by character

Thornabub

  • 0:06:00 “I am simply here to retrieve my daughter, Glassy Bear. And we bring her back to the Nine Hells where she belongs.”
  • 0:06:34 “The best. If you want, I can show you a timeshare there. It’s quite affordable, really. Just a little bit of paperwork.”
  • 0:12:59 “This color palette is so gauche.”
  • 0:31:57 “Stand still. Take your beating like I taught you.”
  • 0:32:34 “What’s the point of having power if I don’t let it get to my head, Glassy Bear?”
  • 0:32:49 “Even as I’m trying to kill you in this death arena, you will always be my Glassy Bear.”
  • 0:36:38 “I know that, Glassy Bear. And we’re going to kill all of them one day.”
  • 0:42:25 “It’s my son’s sword. The one I used to beat him with earlier today.”
  • 0:44:28 “Am I not a god, Gerald?”
  • 0:59:09 “Do you hear that bell, daughter? It’s mommy calling you home again.”
  • 1:03:41 “It’s a shmedium. I used to be a shmedium back when I was interning for Asmodeus.”
  • 1:26:01 “I have a scar on my back. It’s two claw marks that go across my back underneath my wings that was left by her mother.”
  • 1:33:04 “I will see you in hell, daughter!”
  • 1:35:10 “Your mother and I and Jerry will be looking forward to seeing you at Christmas.”
  • 1:56:21 (Dried Blood) “Always be closing. On devil deals or deathmatches, always be closing.”

Glassy

  • 0:07:07 “I can tell people that they shouldn’t sign up for your scummy deals, okay?… You can’t tell me no anymore.”
  • 0:07:25 “I don’t need your deals. I don’t need your soul coins… I don’t need you.”
  • 0:13:14 “I can dye my hair whatever color I want, and I think purple suits me.”
  • 0:27:12 “You’re a stupid, filthy, evil jerk, and I hate you.”
  • 0:32:40 “Do not call me Glassy Bear in front of these people, in front of the Grandmaster and the Arbiter.”
  • 0:34:22 “I’ve made my own person, okay? Living on the material plane. I’ve made a life for myself. I live in Luskan.”
  • 0:38:44 “That one’s for Jerry, Dad.”
  • 0:52:49 “I wish I was deaf so I didn’t have to hear you anymore.”
  • 0:55:12 “This one I learned on my own, okay? I can do things on my own, too. I’m independent.”
  • 1:11:31 “Don’t touch Jerry. Leave him out of this. Unless you want to face real hellish rebuke, father… And his name’s Gary.”
  • 1:27:24 “You don’t know me anymore… And if you really want to see my full potential, ask and you’ll be done too.”
  • 1:34:21 “Jerry wasn’t that good of a boyfriend anyway. I think he wasn’t really a lightning wizard.”
  • 1:40:20 “I will not let you down. I will not let anybody down anymore. This is a new chapter for Glassy.”
  • 1:56:37 (Dried Blood) “This is not the end. I will come back with an oath of vengeance.”

The Arbiter

  • 0:02:53 “I mean, technically you’re in charge of everything here, so.”
  • 0:05:15 “I thought that the best kind of drama is, you know, it’s always family drama, right?”
  • 0:08:50 “This is why we’re here. We’re bringing families to resolve their issues.”
  • 0:13:58 “It’s a shame the way the youth of today, over the last thousand years or so, has really gone downhill.”
  • 0:14:45 “Once you’ve taken care of business, murdered your daughter, then you and I will grab a drink.”
  • 0:48:06 “Right, but I’m going to lose a lot of money if you don’t go at least three or four rounds.”
  • 0:51:28 “That’s right, cower before me, Doug!”
  • 0:51:34 “His skin is falling off of his face.”
  • 0:59:44 “That’s petty and I like it.”
  • 1:29:36 “There are two things that I know for certain is that magnets are magic and that the earth is flat.”
  • 1:51:33 (Dried Blood) “We pay him in, you know, table scraps and stuff, you know, drop of blood here, drop of blood there.”
  • 1:52:14 (Dried Blood) “Listen, between you and me, I’ve been trying to overthrow the Grandmaster for years. For years.”

Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer

  • 0:01:37 “I cannot function when time keeps changing. And I don’t even know why they changed the time.”
  • 0:03:13 “Everything is fine and of course I have full control of my realm and I definitely knew that I didn’t have to follow the orders of daylight saving.”
  • 0:04:11 “We will get David Copperfield and we will not have daylight saving time.”
  • 0:10:29 “Arbiter, take us someplace else so I don’t have to feel so insecure about my choices.”
  • 0:12:49 “This is a special forest that is curated just for me. It’s a wild garden.”
  • 0:15:45 “It has a life of its own and certainly knows how to defend itself… Use its resources, lest it turn on you.”
  • 0:29:03 “He’s an electrician. Sparks between the two of you.”
  • 0:48:36 “Torture him for a good length as well. Let him feel the pain.”
  • 0:50:07 “I don’t want you to give up. Keep fighting for who you are.”
  • 1:35:57 “From one ruler to another, I applaud you and I respect your dominion.”
  • 1:37:47 “There are many battles that I have lost before. My own kingdom that I had to leave for some time.”
  • 1:38:55 “This is not your last chapter… Jerry may just be another page in your book.”
  • 1:40:04 “Glassy, you are an inspiration. Do not let me down.”

Gerald (Drew)

  • 0:59:48 “Yeah, but I’ve already tasted your blood. What else you got?” (tagged 01, speaker inferred)
  • 1:00:44 “I do enjoy blood, but maybe give me a second option.”
  • 1:01:42 “You can’t make me a zombie. I’m not dead.” (tagged 01, speaker inferred)
  • 1:02:19 “I’ve always wanted a pet. I will name him Francisco.”
  • 1:02:48 “Listen, I have a soul and now I have a raccoon zombie.”
  • 1:03:13 “I’m kind of running low on supplies, but this is the best I got.” (could be the Arbiter narrating)

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