D20 Deathmatch Wiki

S5E12 — Imitation Game — Kopy Katt v Ragu

Properties1
tagsepisode, season-5

39 min read

Champions and playersCat as Kopy Katt; Big Cheese as Ragu
ResultRagu (Kopy Katt kills herself with her own can opener on a natural 1)
Arenathe Crimson Keep (heard as “Crimson Cave” at 0:14:13 and “this crimson keep” at 1:40:03), the top of a dark castle under the moon
HostsCaustic Phoenix (Thea, narration, chaos events) and Mudcat (the Lord of Fate, narration, mechanics)
WatchYouTube

What happens

Opening — Thea in the closet

  1. 0:05:38 Drew: “Welcome to D20 Deathmatch. It was spicy.” The scene is the halls of the Dread Fortress, the subterranean castle inside a giant skull in the middle of a lava field. The halls are cool to the touch. The Lord of Fate paces around looking for Thea, who is “never anywhere to be found.”
  2. He checks the rooms one by one:
    • The library, where he peeks in, sees a large painting of himself, and admires it for a moment.
    • The kitchen.
    • The brewery downstairs.
    • The attic.
  3. Frustrated, he uses magic so that his voice booms and echoes through every hall. The words he shouts are not in the transcript.
  4. 0:06:37 A closet door deep in the basement slams shut. “I heard that. Where are you? I will find you!”
  5. Thea answers: “I’m nowhere, I’m nowhere…” You hear Rubbermaid containers being pulled down and snapped open.
  6. The Lord of Fate: “I swear to God, if you’re eating hot dogs, I will find you and I will break you.” Thea: the hot dogs are in the kitchen. She checked, because she ate them all earlier.
  7. 0:07:13 He rips the door open. Thea is half-dressed in four Halloween costumes at once:
    • a witch’s hat;
    • Frankenstein’s bolts;
    • Dracula’s cape;
    • big giant hobbit feet. Behind her are stacks more costumes: a hot dog, a corn on the cob, a little scarecrow. He had told her she couldn’t wear all of them, so she couldn’t choose.
  8. 0:07:48 “Halloween was last week. It’s done. It’s only one day.” Thea: “Halloween lives in your spirit and is with us forever.” The Lord of Fate: “None of the words that you say make any sense.” He explains that her words form sentences “but they don’t mean anything.” Thea: “No, I have no idea.”
  9. 0:08:16 Thea did prepare the Deathmatch. She also found two giant matching sloth onesies, “in both our sizes,” and tosses him one.
  10. 0:08:43 — Doug in the onesie. The Lord of Fate declines: “You know who would love to dress up with you?… I need to let him out anyways.” He snaps his fingers. The costume shrinks, and Doug grows into it from nowhere, “still with shackles around his ankle.” Thea: “Is that his leash?”
  11. Thea puts on her own onesie over her pink hair, with her pink wings popping out the back and tiny sloth claws hanging down. She asks to at least leave the closet. 0:09:52 They settle on the throne room. Thea claps open a portal herself. “It’s almost as good as yours.” “I’m getting better.”
  12. 0:10:06 Thea pulls Doug along: “he’s really loose… No bones in Doug?” The Lord of Fate: “Again, you say sentences, but they don’t mean anything.”

The throne room — the champions arrive

  1. 0:10:23 Thea claps open two giant pink portals: “you remember her from before, Copycat versus Ragu!” The Lord of Fate recognizes Ragu: “is this the same Ragu with the… squat?” Ragu is already doing the squats, “a crowd favorite.” Thea: “Copycat can do squats easily, too.”
  2. 0:11:05 — Lanes. Ragu: “Oh, you want to be a copycat now?” Copycat: “I already am one, darling.” Ragu: “Nobody copies Ragu. Stay over there in your lane, I stay in my lane.” Copycat: “My lane is everybody’s.” Ragu: “Nobody gets in Ragu’s lane unless they want to get ran over… I am a reckless walker… I jaywalk. I K-walk, I C-walk, I walk all the alphabets.”
  3. 0:12:02 Copycat: “I already have one win under my belt.” Ragu: “And so do I.”
  4. 0:12:10 — The identity count. Thea warns Ragu that Copycat has stolen many identities: “last time it was, what, 69, 74?” Copycat checks her notebook. The holidays have been busy, and the count is now 420. Thea: “That’s top tier.” Copycat: “Very profitable too.”
  5. 0:12:53 Ragu pulls out a tablet and writes: “I will not be number 421… Won’t. Steal. Me… Period.” The Lord of Fate: “You had to write that down?”
  6. 0:13:21 — The bank call. The Lord of Fate magically produces a 1980s telephone, flips it open, and calls his bank to cancel all his credit cards. “Just gonna nip that in the bud right now.” Thea: “You should have done that earlier. Last time?”
  7. 0:13:50 — Two Lords of Fate. Copycat starts copying him. Inferred: she takes on the Lord of Fate’s appearance, based on “Don’t do that, that’s me” and “I’m obviously the real one.” She echoes every line: “I want to see him kill her.” Thea, asked which one to listen to: “Me, of course.” The copy compliments Thea’s onesie and claims to be the real one. Thea bows at the copy’s feet: “That’s clearly the real one.”

The arena — the Crimson Keep

  1. 0:14:13 Thea claps them through to “the Crimson Cave”. They arrive at the top of a dark castle, with the moon glowing and bats ruffling through the air. Later it is called “this crimson keep.”
  2. 0:14:54 Thea points to Mudcat’s character, the real Lord of Fate: “You, the imposter, you will fight Ragu.” Ragu: “I shall. He shall. And I will.” The real Lord of Fate: “I’m standing right here.”
  3. 0:15:25 The copy flares white wings, soars into the sky, and snaps away every star on Thea’s forehead. “Which one did that?” A voice says, “It was me. I did it.” The copy answers: “Only the fake one would do that.” It hands Thea a sheet of gold star stickers. “Why did you even bring those to a deathmatch?” “I feel everyone deserves a gold star once in a while.”
  4. 0:16:10 — Found out. Ragu: “The only gold star you’re gonna get is death.” The copy: “From who? You? Ragu? See, that rhymed.” Ragu: “Why would you, the imposter, even answer that question?” Thea: “Found out. Discovered!”
  5. Ragu explains: “Your mustache wasn’t thick enough.” Copycat: “Got a little squished in my pocket.” Ragu: “The whiskers.” Thea: “They always give them away.”
  6. 0:17:05 — The crowd. The Acolytes cheer and blue slushies fly everywhere. People rip their clothes off, “as is tradition.” It is never the top half, always the bottom half, so people tear off their breakaway jeans.
  7. Copycat spots socks in the crowd. Thea thinks they’re mismatched and recalls that “we gave out cupcake socks once.” Then she sees corn-on-the-cob socks (“I want it!”) and dives into the audience.
  8. 0:17:33 — Doug. Doug, in his sloth onesie with his tiny ears pinned to his head, crawls into the center between the champions. Ragu: “What is this?” The Lord of Fate: “It is a kind of a dog.” Copycat: “It’s obviously a thag… I made it.”
  9. 0:18:38 — Initiative. Ragu 18, Copycat 4.
    • The Lord of Fate snaps Doug back beside the throne.
    • He calls: “Thea, can you stop eating people’s ankles?”
    • Thea swoops Doug up (“he really has no bones today”) and sets him next to the Lord of Fate.
    • She recognizes Copycat “this time”: “You too will bring blood and death and an epic story for us to appease our great acolytes.”

Round 1

  1. 0:19:57 — Nunchucks. Ragu: “Do you see my nunchucks?” His first attack hits. Copycat tries to whip out nunchucks of her own, but the strike lands “right in the forehead. Easy aim.” “Ow, that actually kind of hurt.” Ragu: “I made you bleed your own blood.” Copycat: “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.”
  2. 0:21:12 Ragu’s second swing goes for the same spot and misses. Copycat: “I’m a quick learner, you see?”
  3. 0:21:36 His third is a surprise attack with the left nunchuck, which also misses. Copycat finally gets her own nunchuck out and blocks with her right hand. Thea: “right always beats left.”
  4. 0:22:39 — The bag. Copycat is “most definitely” wearing her paper bag, which now has a little dent in the forehead.
  5. 0:23:04 — The old Box of Chaos. Copycat brings out a chest: “I’m sure the Lord of Fate would recognize this bad boy… It was your old chest.” The Lord of Fate: “You kept the old Box of Chaos?… It’s just an empty box.” Ragu asks whether she kept it “from your last win.” “Of course I did.” She pops it open and throws out a cloud of feather boas.
  6. 0:23:56 Copycat tries to blind Ragu with the feathers. It misses. Ragu: “You will never blind me.” Copycat: “You saw through my feathery facade.”
    • Thea comes onto the platform and steals some boas.
    • Ragu says whatever she threw “tastes like sunflower seeds.” The Lord of Fate: those are probably just in the dirt.
  7. 0:24:58 — Silly String. Copycat sprays Silly String to blind him again. Thea’s note: “silly string always smells the worst.” It misses; Ragu dances out of the way.
    • Ragu: “It is my super defense of dodging strings. I am a professional string dodger. Wherever you spray, I shall weave.”
    • The Lord of Fate: “That’s an oddly niche and specific vocation.”
    • Ragu: “It’s all in the shoulders.” He adds a garbled line about his wife dancing while driving (“All shoulders”).
  8. 0:26:35 Copycat: “you bust moves like no other. You are indeed a worthy opponent.” Ragu: “You should have known that the second I dodged the first status effect.”
  9. 0:27:07 — The boot. Copycat takes off her boot and hits him with it. It lands (“You get the boot”). It’s caked with mud, feathers, and glitter from last night’s party. Copycat: “wait, is that a pizza roll in there?”
  10. 0:27:57 — Feeding Thea. Thea begs for the pizza roll and Copycat throws it to her. The Lord of Fate: “Don’t feed the Thea.” Copycat: “The way to Thea’s heart is through her stomach.” The Lord of Fate: “You could also go through the rib cage.” Thea: through the stomach is easier, “because then I stay in one piece.”
  11. 0:28:39 Ragu points out the pizza roll has cheese, and Thea is lactose intolerant. Thea: “That’s true too. And?” Ragu: “you’re about to get a whole status effect of gas in your area.”
  12. 0:28:54 — End of round. Thea rolls a d20 (17). Her tummy bubbles and gurgles as she tries to process the cheese. She reaches out to Ragu: “You can wield Thea if you’d like as a weapon, a fart gun, if you will.” Ragu: “Hell yeah.”

Round 2 — the Thea gun

  1. 0:29:35 — First fart. Ragu attacks with “a super whirlwind fart explosion number five”, a damage-over-time status effect. Copycat: “What happened to number four?” Ragu: “Ask the person I defeated last time.” Copycat: “that’s some fatal flatulence.”
    • It misses. Instead of gas, “a liquid expulsion drifts out instead.”
    • Ragu: “Oh, it’s all over my head. I told you not to feed her.”
  2. 0:31:01 — Second fart. The second whirlwind fart is a tie. It burns the nostrils and becomes “the unending fart of 12 days.” It gets into both fighters’ mouths, down their throats and into their stomachs. Both champions gain a fatigue. Drew’s reminder for the stands: “Five fatigues and you die.”
  3. 0:32:24 — The Thea throw. Ragu: “I’m going to throw Thea at you… I don’t want to smell this shit no more.” Copycat: “Are you calling Thea stinky?” Ragu: “Oh, stinky winky.” Thea: “She’s got a little easy tail so you can slingshot her.”
    • It hits. Ragu swings Thea around like a rope while she screams, and lets go.
    • Copycat catches Thea with her face: “her butt hit your face.”
    • Thea: “Thank you for helping me wipe it off.”
  4. 0:34:10 — The new bag. “You’ve completely ruined my paper bag.” Thea hands her a reusable D20 Deathmatch bag to wear instead. Copycat: “My bag is everything. It’s my bag of tricks.” The Lord of Fate: “So far, I’ve only seen it be on your head.”
  5. 0:34:45 — Lord of Fate again. Thea: “Lord of Fate, how did you get down here so fast?” Inferred: with the new bag, Copycat takes the Lord of Fate’s form again, based on Thea’s line, his “So the bag is the thing that makes your face change?”, and the copy repeating his words.
    • The real one: “I don’t fucking care.”
    • He tries: “You can tell that it’s not me because she’s got shit on her.” The copy repeats it.
    • The copy: “This is how Lord of Fate always smells like… I’ve always smelled like shit.” The real one: “I don’t smell like shit!” Thea: “You smell like shit!”
  6. 0:35:24 Ragu rolls to discern by smell (16) and sniffs out Copycat. “You know what it smells like? Unwanted guests, poverty and regret.”
    • Copycat objects: she has stolen 420 identities, “including their credit cards and their livelihoods.” “I can buy whatever I want.”
    • Ragu: “With somebody else’s identity, not yours… We’re gonna accept this fraud?”
    • The Lord of Fate: “we do make people fight to the death for amusement, so identity theft is kind of like…”
  7. 0:37:03 — The photo album. Copycat reaches into the chest while keeping eye contact (“No one blinks”). She brings out a book, and Thea is “terrified of books.” Copycat: “I may not be completely perfect at copying you, but I am capable of doing some research.”
    • The book holds Ragu’s embarrassing high school and grade school photos and his baby pictures, with several bookmarked.
    • Thea: “When Ragu was a baby tomato?”
    • The first photo shows baby Ragu’s “bad baby butt sitting in an inflatable pool.” Ragu: “nobody needs to see that… even though I had a nice ass.”
  8. 0:39:05 — Attack on his pride. It succeeds, and Ragu rolls a natural 1 defending. The photo projects onto every mega screen in the Dread Fortress, showing baby Ragu’s bare bottom. Ragu loses fighting spirit and gains a second fatigue.
  9. 0:39:52 — The Lord of Fate’s baby photo. Copycat has another one “held on to… especially.” It shows the Lord of Fate as a baby in a cutesy bib and bonnet.
    • The Lord of Fate: “You’re supposed to be attacking him. I’ll have you know that that cutesy baby murdered his own family. Or at least he thought. It’s a complicated story.”
    • Copycat’s attack on him succeeds (18 against 7). He goes flush red on his high throne.
    • Doug chortles, tiny shoulders bouncing, and snorts at him. The Lord of Fate snaps Doug back to the dungeons.
  10. 0:41:34 — Free Doug.
    • Thea: “Did you banish him to the bathroom?” The Lord of Fate: “To the dungeons… the dungeons, they have a bathroom. We’re not animals.”
    • Ragu: “My Lord of Fate. She has embarrassed both of us… Mostly you.”
    • Thea: “Doug the pug is innocent.” The champions and Thea chant “Free Doug.” The Lord of Fate: “I usurped the throne. Fair and square.”
    • Thea threatens to post on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. He: “I don’t care.”
  11. 0:42:40 — “Fate book.” Copycat already has access to his “fate book account” and says his great aunt would love these photos. The Lord of Fate: “How did you change my two-factor authentication?” Copycat: “This is your phone.” “Whose phone is this? I am so confused.”
  12. 0:43:19 The Acolytes chant “Free Doug!” Copycat: “there are things in this world that even copycat cannot allow. And one of them is putting Doug in the dungeon.” The Lord of Fate: “It’s a complex political issue. You don’t understand.” Copycat calls her action “an act of justice” for Doug the pug.
  13. 0:44:21 The Lord of Fate gives in: “Fine, you want Doug?” A giant cage appears floating and spinning in the middle of the arena, with Doug inside. Thea: “Doug has returned!” Copycat: “Doug is dizzy.”
  14. 0:44:48 — The book thrown. “Ragu, it’s time to educate you.” Copycat throws the book at Ragu and misses. Ragu keeps it. Copycat: it also has “last Christmas with you and your wife when you went to the Bahamas. Very cute.”
  15. 0:45:33 — Copycat’s file. Ragu finds Copycat’s information in the back of the book. Copycat: “That’s not my real information. All of it is fake. Everything about me is fake. I’m not a real person at all. I’m everybody else.”
    • Thea: “Thea is people.”
    • Copycat: “I am the embodiment of everyone. Why be me when I can be everyone?”
  16. 0:46:32 — Thea’s number. Thea rolls 16 and declares it “my social security number now.” The Lord of Fate gives her back a star on her forehead. She already has gold stickers “from the other Lord of Fate.”

Chaos event — the mechanical bull (0:47:10)

  1. The Acolytes chant “Chaos!” and Ragu rolls (13), “with the squat.”
    • An illusion falls: the lights dim, the ground turns sticky, a PBR appears in each hand in a puff of cigarette smoke.
    • A mechanical bull rises under each champion into the spotlight. Thea: “Ride them, cowboy.”
  2. 0:48:17 Copycat fails and goes flying off, losing fighting spirit and gaining a fatigue. Ragu rides it out but still gains a fatigue “for the effort,” which puts him at three.
    • Copycat: “I’ve only stolen identities of cowboys. I’ve never actually ridden one.”
    • Ragu: “You noob.”
    • Copycat: bull riding “takes years of practice and dedication… I’m too busy trying to steal everybody else’s identity.”
    • Ragu: “That’s exactly why you’re gonna die.”

Round 3 (first half)

  1. 0:49:46 — The diary. Ragu claims he found her weakness in the book. He reads a “Copycat diary” entry: “I must learn to ride a bull, but how can I ride one if I never experienced it?”
    • Copycat insists the book is only a photo album and that she writes no such things.
    • Ragu also produces a picture of her face-flat after falling off the bull. Copycat: “You must be documenting it now… Some kind of real-time documentation.”
  2. 0:51:36 — Ragu’s bull. A squeaky wheel announces a gigantic mechanical bull rolling in for Ragu. The table chants “You ever been hit by a bull?” Copycat: “I’ve been hit with a table a couple times and somebody’s mother.”
    • The bull’s headbutt hits (a “dirty 20”). It charges on its wheels, horn first, and knocks her backwards.
    • Thea’s cheer: “Shake it off, cat!”
    • Copycat: “That bull, it’s like a bull. Accurate.”
  3. 0:53:20 — Fast nunchucks. Ragu powers up the attack speed of his nunchucks. “You fear the chucks… Which way did they go?”
    • The first strike lands.
  4. 0:55:19 Ragu: “Are you okay, copycat? Can you copy recovery?”
  5. 0:55:26 — The copied power-up. Copycat copies Ragu’s power-up and smacks the bull on the butt to send it his way. Another natural 1: she hits its side flank, and the bull spins around and flips onto her. She loses fighting spirit and gains a fourth fatigue.
  6. 0:56:43 — The fail-safe.
    • Thea: “You looking down bad, cat?”
    • Copycat: “I don’t think I’ve ever been beaten this bad before. In all my years of copying, it’s always gotten me by.”
    • Ragu: one more fatigue and “There’s no spawn points. There is no revives.”
    • Copycat: “I have a fail-safe chip in my brain. And when I die, it releases everybody’s identities. Like a confetti stick. Plus a free coupon to… the nearest candy store.” She doesn’t plan on giving out either.
  7. 0:58:11 Copycat: “Maybe you are my match.” Ragu: “I’m not a match. That’s why you can’t copy me.” Thea: “he’s actually a ragu, not a match.” Copycat gives Thea a gold star.
  8. 0:58:43 — The second boot. “I didn’t think I would have to do this.” She takes off her other boot and attacks. It misses. Ragu: “put that little funky ass boot back on and walk out of my life.”
  9. 0:59:35 — The spare brain. Copycat spends an action to remove a fatigue. Thea: “That’s using a brain. I’ve always wanted one of those.” Copycat hands her a spare brain from her pocket (“You can never be too prepared”). Thea: “I’ll call it Sarah and take care of it forever.” She stuffs it in her own pocket.
  10. 1:00:50 — The Prego mask. Copycat takes a mask from the chest, rips off her bag and puts it on. The mask looks just like Ragu’s wife, Prego.
    • Ragu: “What are you doing here?” “Prego”: “I came to watch your match. And support you.”
    • Asked who he’s fighting, she describes “someone with yellow boots… Kinda looks like that guy over there,” and points to the Lord of Fate.
  11. 1:02:11 The Lord of Fate cuts in: “While you guys work out whatever the fuck this is… we gotta take a break… whatever marital spat you got going on here.” (Break cut.)

After the break — the Box of Chaos

  1. 1:02:29 Ragu is at 14 fighting spirit and Copycat (“Prego”) at 8, both with three fatigue.
  2. 1:02:59 — The Box arrives.
    • The Acolytes scream for chaos. The Lord of Fate flares his wings and shoots a bolt of multicolored lightning from his palm into the chaos storms.
    • The Box of Chaos slams down, and a column of pink and yellow fire shoots up.
    • The shadowy figure claws out of “a newer box… the new box that you gave him, Kat.” (Copycat had given him this box.)
    • Champions can sacrifice something to it for a magic item.
  3. 1:04:26 — The vegetable test. Ragu: “Prego… What is your favorite vegetable?” “Prego”: “Obviously, the tomato.” Ragu: “Prego’s favorite vegetables are onion. You are an imposter.”
  4. 1:05:19 — The bull sacrificed. Ragu sacrifices his mechanical bull to the box. It charges headfirst in and is sucked down, and the lid flips shut.
    • A table aside: “don’t ruin the paint on that thing.”
    • The box rumbles and hops. The shadowy hand offers Ragu the Arbiter’s Rings: a ring “that once actually belonged to the Lord of Fate himself,” which resizes to fit snugly.
    • Once activated, for one round he is master of time and space and his opponent’s attacks have disadvantage. Thea: “The little timey-wimey, hibbly-bobbly stuff.”
  5. 1:07:10 Ragu tries to use it to reverse time and put the fatigue back on her. That’s ruled out: “limited time and space. Like the last five seconds.” Thea: “I like that you dream big.” Ragu: “I want her to have five fatigues.” He saves the ring for later.
  6. 1:07:52 — The mask comes off. “I want to … smack the imposter syndrome off her face.” With no hesitation he backhands the face of his wife. It hits, and the mask spins off. Ragu: “Do you have like this whole thing where you don’t like being yourself?” Copycat: “I’ve never showed anyone my real face.”
    • Underneath is “nothing. Emptiness.” She has light-toned purple skin and is completely bald, with no ears. It is a blank surface with two badly drawn eyes and a smiley face in marker, “like a kid drew it.”
    • Speaker uncertain: “AI, I should have known.” Speaker uncertain: “Whoa, you’re like a man again.”
  7. 1:10:33 Copycat: “I have never shown my face to anyone before. I’ve never had my identity revealed either. But the truth is, I’ve never had an identity to begin with.”
    • Ragu: “You’re not lying. This is fucking hilarious. Yes, I relish in this… Who are you?”
    • Copycat: “I am everyone, but no one at the same time.”
    • Ragu: “you are AI, not artificial intelligence. But an artificial idiot.”
    • She rubs one drawn eye and it smears: “Literally a painted on face.”
  8. 1:11:43 — The Polaroid. A flash goes off: the Lord of Fate takes a Polaroid of her real face and shakes it. “Yeah, the real you. I’ll just keep this for later.” Ragu: “you can add that to this book.”
    • Ragu is out of actions, having spent one on the Box.
    • Thea: “Come on, copycat, you can be anything, just don’t be a loser.”
  9. 1:12:34 — Copycat at the box. “I can’t cry. I don’t have any eyes or tear ducts.” Ragu: “Got a pencil.” She kneels and knocks on the box. The shadowy figure (Drew) talks with her:
    • Shadow: “Is it rude that I don’t know where to look?”
    • Copycat: she has no face, he has no body. Shadow: “I don’t really have a body though, I’m just like a soul.” Copycat: “They say the eyes are the window of the soul… I just don’t have one.”
  10. 1:13:31 — The secret. Copycat: “This might be my last fight.” Shadow: “Are you, like, gonna retire?”
    • She puts a tiny microchip, “like a USB… memory card,” in his hand: “use it when the time is right. I trust you.”
    • It isn’t the trade. It’s free.
  11. 1:14:14 — Small talk.
    • The new box is “spacious. I can still touch both sides, but… I can almost straighten my elbows.”
    • Copycat: box values have gone up. Shadow: “the interest rates are so high, I could never afford to sell it… Because then I gotta get a new box.”
    • Shadow: “I have a pretty minimalist lifestyle in here. I mean, I have a lot of shit, but it’s all I just pile in the corner.”
    • Copycat gives him a business card for “a guy” who fixes chips. Shadow: “Is the guy just gonna be you in a disguise, stealing my identity?” “No… He’s legit.”
  12. 1:15:37 — The trade. Copycat trades her trash bag (“It’s precious”) and the Lord of Fate’s cell phone.
    • The Shadow asks whether it’s her only clothes. Under the trash bag she wears duct tape, which “goes with the fishnets.”
    • She has never taken the trash bag off. She washed it while still inside. Drew: “Oh, you’re a never nude.” Bec: “There are dozens of you.”
    • Copycat says the phone is already unlocked and starts to give the code. Shadow: “Don’t worry, I know the passcode. I used to be a shadow.” He’s “probably gonna sell it.”
  13. 1:17:10 — Coffee. Copycat: “if I do live through this… you wanna grab coffee later?” Shadow: “I can’t really, like, leave the box… you could drag me.” She’ll bring the coffee to him: “If I survive, anyway.”
  14. 1:17:39 — The Grandmaster’s bow. The box rumbles and flips open into a pillar of yellow and pink flame. Instead of the hand alone, the Grandmaster’s bow floats in the air.
    • She now crits on natural 19s as well as 20s, permanently.
    • It shape-shifts into whatever its wielder wants.
  15. 1:18:40 — The can opener. “Out of complete thin air,” Copycat drops a paper bag on the ground, reaches in “like Mary Poppins,” and pulls out a huge can opener. Ragu: “I’m thinking she’s hungry or something.”
  16. 1:19:28 — The first can-opener attack hits. A cheer: “Crack that sauce.” Copycat chases him around: “You can call me Chef Boyardee because I’m about to… Chef, this can opener on you.” She immediately disowns it: “That was a really bad one… Cut that out.” Thea: “No one will ever hear that joke again.” Ragu’s pained noise is likened to a Minecraft villager.
  17. 1:21:22 — The haircut.
    • Copycat copies Ragu’s power-up again. Her can-opener swing is a dirty 20 against 19 and hits hard. Thea earns another gold star for pointing out 20 is higher than 19.
    • Copycat turns the dial and catches “his glorious locks” in the can opener, and cuts them off.
    • Ragu: “Nobody messes with the dew.” “That’s worse than a bowl cut.” Copycat: “I can’t open that cranium.”

Round 4

  1. 1:23:26 Ragu’s fresh haircut looks “real raggedy.” Ragu: “it’s not even about my hair anymore. You done messed up the dew, now it’s forever.” Copycat: “I hear if you sprinkle some Miracle-Gro on it, it might work.”
  2. 1:24:22 — The ring. Ragu activates the Arbiter’s Rings. He wants it to take her can opener away. The ruling: it just gives her disadvantage on her next turn’s attacks. “Well, bring it on.”
  3. 1:25:08 — Super Ragu. Ragu triggers his Heroic Surge, charging up five times the power of his attack.
    • “My hair didn’t grow back… But I power up. I become stronger. I am now Super Ragu. And since you lied about the vegetable… It is time to end you.”
    • Copycat argues the tomato is a fruit, so she should get to resubmit her answer. Ragu: “Denied.”
  4. 1:26:40 — Insults.
    • Ragu: “You and your wipe-y face that you can’t even put tears on… you’re just a chalkboard. I’m just gonna erase you.”
    • Copycat: “I look like an eraser… I’m light purple.” She suggests “a piece of chewed gum.” Ragu: “I’d rather call you the Pop-Tart nobody eats.” Copycat: “My cinnamon brown sugar.”
  5. 1:28:12 — The surge hits. The Heroic Surge attack hits for five.
    • Bec narrates: his muscles double, and his hair grows about an inch.
    • Ragu: “I am five times stronger than my actual body… she cut it with a can opener, which gave me the opportunity to give her a nunchuck right across the ear, so she can’t even hear what’s slapping her.”
    • He demonstrates the silence. Bec: “Thank you for demonstrating the sound of silence.” Drew: “Playing the rests.”
  6. 1:29:45 — The shoulders. “This one’s going to be the ender… You can’t hear it coming. You probably can’t see it either.” Copycat avoids it by doing his own move, the shoulders. No roll is stated for this attack.
    • Copycat: “I may not have eyes or ears, but my sense of groove is too strong.”
    • Ragu: “you’re doing it wrong. You’re over here dancing to the Rick Roll.”
  7. 1:31:14 — The girthy chuck. Ragu spends his final power-up on accuracy: “the nunchuck is going to be bigger, wider… girthier.”
    • Copycat: “How much does a chuck?” Ragu: “Ask a woodchuck. Guess they’re chucking on that wood to this day.”
    • It misses (11 against 12). Copycat stays alive. Thea: “That stick, it goes soft… so underwhelming.” Drew: “He’s a one-chuck chump.”
  8. 1:33:18 The ring is in effect, so all of Copycat’s attacks this round have disadvantage.
  9. 1:33:56 — Rogaine. Copycat’s status effect: she throws a whole jar of Rogaine at Ragu, jar and all. It misses. Ragu: “This Rogaine sucks. Okay, go get me a Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia instead.”
  10. 1:35:00 Copycat spends her second action removing a fatigue: “Since I have disadvantage because of your ring, why attack?” Thea: “This is why I asked for one of your brains.”
  11. 1:35:48 — The thinking face. Copycat stalls: “Malfunctioning error, error.” Thea hops in front of her and makes a thinking face for her, and Copycat directs the eyebrows a bit higher.
  12. 1:36:05 — Death by can opener. She swings the can opener at Ragu “one more time.” It’s a natural 1, and she was already at one fighting spirit.
    • She picks it up backwards without realizing.
    • She runs at Ragu in slow motion, revving it up.
    • She trips on her own boot, and the can opener collapses on top of her and hits “my not face.”
    • Drew: “Never saw it coming.” Copycat: “Literally did not see it coming.” Drew: “If only she had both boots. And eyes.”
    • Drew voices “Jota” asking: “How did she breathe? How did she talk?” Drew: “Well, now she’s dead, we can’t ask her.”
  13. 1:38:15 — The fail-safe fires.
    • Cat narrates: a spark comes out of her not-face, then a couple more, then a giant laser shoots from her not-face into the sky.
    • All 420 identities are returned. Ragu: “That’s a lot of identities. It ain’t even New Year’s.”
    • Ragu: “I told your ass you was gonna die messing with my dude.”
  14. 1:39:34 — The goblins. As she fades, her face is wiped free, and the last of the identities soar off to find their owners. A small group of goblins drags her away, along with her bag and her other “dust boot.”
  15. 1:40:03 — Ragu wins. Ragu stands alone atop the crimson keep, the moon as his spotlight, while the Acolytes chant “Ragu, Ragu, Ragu!”
    • Ragu: “I told you that AI was an idiot… Ragu wins again… Maybe next time you send me a human with skill and not a copycat, you can never be the real thing.”
  16. 1:40:54 — The Lord of Fate closes.
    • “Don’t worry, I think we’ll find somebody up to the challenge… Acolytes! You’ve witnessed the death of copycat. I, for one, am fucking stoked.”
    • “If anyone sees my phone, there is a reward… No questions asked… I got a lot of pictures on there. Please don’t go through it.”
    • 1:41:34 “Welcome and good night to D20 Deathmatch!”

Dried Blood (after-show)

In-character / narrated post-match beats. These are Dried Blood. Their canon status is to be confirmed, since they are told as post-credits flavor.

  • 1:47:01 Drew: while the post-match interview runs, the goblins have dragged Copycat into the locker room and are defibrillating her and drawing a new face on her face. Cat: a different face, “probably with a Lord of Fate mustache on this time… Maybe some gold stars on there.”
  • 1:47:24 Bec: a bunch of goblins brush Ragu’s hair and give him a shampoo treatment. Ragu says he is “not like Heihachi off of Tekken, so I’m good now.” Cat jokes that Ragu no longer looks like his ID (“I was attacked, okay?… by a giant can opener”).
  • 1:49:55 Drew’s post-credits scene: the shadow in the Box of Chaos, rain coming down on the box, peeking out the lid, “waiting for someone to come drink coffee with him that never comes.”
  • 1:50:24 Drew: the shadow does plug in Copycat’s chip. Cat: it holds a very hefty Word doc titled “How to Be a Copycat by Copycat. Edited by ChatGPT.” Bec: “Your legacy has to be out there somewhere.”
  • 1:51:20 Bec: “we do now have a Polaroid picture of you.” Drew and Bec: “We can rebuild you. We have the technology.”
  • 1:51:35 Cat clarifies that the laser came from her face, not her butt. It was the fail-safe chip releasing all the stolen identities, a “weird little blizzard thing up in the sky… connecting to the satellites and beyond.”
  • Final words:
    • Copycat (Cat): “Always be yourself because you are the best version of yourself and nobody can copy that.” Drew thought she was answering for Cheese, as a copy joke.
    • Ragu (Big Cheese): “Nobody can copy you when you are Ragu.” He strikes a T-pose.

Out-of-character (creator notes):

  • Drew: this is S5 Ep12. Big Cheese returned from previous seasons and from the GCX live show “last year.” Cat has been on the show “a couple of times now, including this season.”
  • Cat on the reveal: normally there would just be another bag underneath, but finally revealing the face felt fitting for her defeat. Copycat is “complete like mannequin.”
  • Drew: this is the second face reveal in three or four weeks. King Bofis wears a frog luchador mask, and underneath is the tiny head of an actual frog on a man’s body. That reveal is from another episode and is only mentioned here.
  • Favorite moments:
    • Cheese: the super whirlwind fart. He saw the lactose-intolerant opening when Cat fed Thea the pizza roll.
    • Cat: the photo album, which she didn’t think would work. Copycat “isn’t a real physical fighter.” She attacks your pride, bank account and credit score.
  • Cat on why she skipped the finances this time: she’d done that “so much, the last one.” Ragu’s insults “revved her up,” so Copycat tried new things and lost. The lesson: “stick to what you’re good at.”
  • Drew: there are two kinds of players, those who describe before the roll and those who wait until after. He likes that Cheese describes first. Bec: “always just assume that you’re going to succeed.”

Who and what appears

Characters

Kopy Katt / “Copycat” (Cat). A returning champion and identity thief.

  • Appearance and gear:
    • Wears a paper bag over her head, replaced mid-fight with a reusable D20 Deathmatch bag.
    • A trash bag over duct tape and fishnets. She has never taken the trash bag off. Yellow boots.
  • Her real face: light-purple skin, bald, no ears, blank, with a marker-drawn face of two eyes and a smiley. It smears when rubbed. “I’ve never had an identity to begin with… I am everyone, but no one at the same time.”
  • Identity theft: 69 or 74 stolen identities last time (per Thea), 420 now, including credit cards and livelihoods. She keeps a notebook of them.
  • The fail-safe chip: a chip in her brain that, on her death, releases all stolen identities and a candy-store coupon.
  • Copying: she can copy faces and voices, including the Lord of Fate’s, but her mustache gives her away. She copies power-ups and moves.
  • Possessions:
    • The old Box of Chaos (the Lord of Fate’s “old chest”), kept from her last win, full of tricks: feather boas, Silly String, the photo album, the Prego mask.
    • The Lord of Fate’s cell phone, with access to his “fate book” account and two-factor authentication.
    • Gold star stickers. A spare brain in her pocket (given to Thea).
  • She had given the box’s shadowy figure his new box. Here she gave him a USB-like chip, her trash bag and the Lord of Fate’s phone, and asked him to coffee.
  • She said “This might be my last fight.” She died by her own can opener on a natural 1 and was dragged off by goblins.

Ragu (Big Cheese). Returning champion with one prior win, famed for the “Ragu squat.”

  • Fighting style: nunchucks (a left-hand “surprise”), “a professional string dodger” whose dodging is “all in the shoulders.” His signature move is the super whirlwind fart explosion, now on “number five.”
  • Family:
    • Married to Prego, whose favorite vegetable is onion.
    • Spent last Christmas with his wife in the Bahamas.
    • Baby photos exist of him in an inflatable pool.
  • His hair (“the dew”) was cut off by Copycat’s can opener. Goblins later shampooed what was left.
  • Won the Arbiter’s Rings from the Box of Chaos by sacrificing his summoned mechanical bull.
  • Calls Copycat “an artificial idiot.” Won the fight.

The Lord of Fate (Drew).

  • Has a large painting of himself in the library.
  • Cancelled his credit cards by 1980s telephone. Lost his phone to Copycat and offers a reward for it.
  • Claims about his past and power:
    • He says the baby in the bonnet photo “murdered his own family. Or at least he thought. It’s a complicated story.”
    • “I usurped the throne. Fair and square.”
    • Keeps Doug shackled in the dungeons, which have a bathroom.
  • Took a Polaroid of Copycat’s real face “for later.”
  • Summons the Box of Chaos with multicolored lightning into the chaos storms.

Thea (Bec). Pink imp with pink hair, pink wings and a tail usable as a slingshot grip.

  • Halloween: tried to wear four costumes at once; “Halloween lives in your spirit.”
  • Food: ate all the hot dogs. Lactose intolerant. Eats ankles. “Don’t feed the Thea.”
  • Stars: has stars on her forehead, which the copy removed and the Lord of Fate partly restored.
  • Gifts: gold stickers from “the other Lord of Fate,” a spare brain she named Sarah, and a social security number of 16.
  • Can open portals (“almost as good as yours”). Was used as a fart gun and thrown at Copycat.

Doug (the pug). Kept shackled in the dungeons.

  • Wore a sloth onesie “with no bones.”
  • Chortled at the Lord of Fate’s baby photo and was banished.
  • The “Free Doug” chant got him back in a floating spinning cage.

The shadowy figure in the Box of Chaos (Drew).

  • “Just like a soul,” with no body.
  • “I used to be a shadow,” and he knows the Lord of Fate’s phone passcode.
  • Lives in a newer, more spacious box that Kopy Katt gave him, minimalist, with his stuff piled in the corner. He can’t leave the box.
  • Gave Ragu the Arbiter’s Rings and Copycat the Grandmaster’s bow.
  • Received Copycat’s chip, trash bag and phone.

Prego. Ragu’s wife, seen only as Copycat’s mask. Favorite vegetable: onion.

Sarah. Copycat’s spare brain, now Thea’s.

Goblins. The arena crew. They drag off the dead, defibrillate them, draw faces, and shampoo hair.

Hans. Mentioned only in “Poor Hans is just left out there in the cold.” Unresolved.

“Jota”. Drew voices “Jota has questions” about how Copycat breathed. Unresolved.

Places

  • The Dread Fortress: a subterranean castle inside a giant skull in a lava field. Rooms named this episode:
    • the library, with a large painting of the Lord of Fate;
    • the kitchen;
    • the brewery downstairs;
    • the attic;
    • the basement closet with Thea’s costume stash;
    • the throne room;
    • the dungeons (which have a bathroom);
    • mega screens throughout.
  • The Crimson Keep (spelling uncertain): the arena, a dark castle top with moon and bats.
  • The locker room: Dried Blood only.
  • The Bahamas: Ragu’s holiday.

Items

  • The old Box of Chaos: Copycat’s chest of tricks.
  • The new Box of Chaos: home of the shadowy figure.
  • The Arbiter’s Rings: once the Lord of Fate’s. It resizes to fit, and grants one round as “master of time and space,” giving the opponent disadvantage. It cannot undo more than a few seconds.
  • The Grandmaster’s bow: crit on 19s, permanent, shape-shifts. Copycat used it as a giant can opener.
  • The photo album: Ragu’s and the Lord of Fate’s baby photos, with Copycat’s fake info in the back.
  • The Prego mask.
  • Copycat’s microchip / USB card: in Dried Blood it holds “How to Be a Copycat by Copycat.”
  • Other things in play:
    • the Lord of Fate’s cell phone;
    • the Polaroid of Copycat’s real face;
    • sloth onesies;
    • gold star stickers;
    • the reusable D20 Deathmatch bag;
    • the mechanical bulls;
    • Silly String, feather boas, Rogaine.

Lore statements

  • The Acolytes rip off their bottom-half clothing “as is tradition,” and blue slushies fly. Cupcake socks were once given out.
  • Champions can sacrifice to the Box of Chaos for magic items.
  • In the Season of Fate, the Lord of Fate says he usurped the throne, and calls his baby self someone who “murdered his own family. Or at least he thought.”
  • Copycat’s death released 420 identities via a laser into the sky.

Quotes by character

Kopy Katt

  • 0:11:08 “I already am one, darling.”
  • 0:11:26 “My lane is everybody’s.”
  • 0:15:53 “Only the fake one would do that.”
  • 0:16:08 “I feel everyone deserves a gold star once in a while.”
  • 0:34:27 “My bag is everything. It’s my bag of tricks.”
  • 0:35:14 “This is how Lord of Fate always smells like… I’ve always smelled like shit.”
  • 0:43:41 “There are things in this world that even copycat cannot allow. And one of them is putting Doug in the dungeon.”
  • 0:45:56 “Everything about me is fake. I’m not a real person at all. I’m everybody else.”
  • 0:48:50 “I’ve only stolen identities of cowboys. I’ve never actually ridden one.”
  • 0:57:36 “I have a fail-safe chip in my brain. And when I die, it releases everybody’s identities. Like a confetti stick.”
  • 1:10:33 “I have never shown my face to anyone before… But the truth is, I’ve never had an identity to begin with.”
  • 1:11:13 “I am everyone, but no one at the same time.”
  • 1:13:31 “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. This might be my last fight.”
  • 1:30:21 “I may not have eyes or ears, but my sense of groove is too strong.”
  • Dried Blood 1:52:24 “Always be yourself because you are the best version of yourself and nobody can copy that.”

Ragu

  • 0:11:16 “Nobody copies Ragu.”
  • 0:11:43 “I jaywalk. I K-walk, I C-walk, I walk all the alphabets.”
  • 0:16:43 “I knew you was the imposter. Your mustache wasn’t thick enough.”
  • 0:21:03 “I made you bleed your own blood.”
  • 0:25:45 “I am a professional string dodger. Wherever you spray, I shall weave.”
  • 0:35:41 “You know what it smells like? Unwanted guests, poverty and regret.”
  • 0:55:19 “Are you okay, copycat? Can you copy recovery?”
  • 1:05:02 “Prego’s favorite vegetables are onion. You are an imposter.”
  • 1:11:19 “You are AI, not artificial intelligence. But an artificial idiot.”
  • 1:22:38 “Nobody messes with the dew.”
  • 1:25:38 “I become stronger. I am now Super Ragu.”
  • 1:27:09 “I’d rather call you the Pop-Tart nobody eats.”
  • 1:40:31 “Ragu wins again… Maybe next time you send me a human with skill and not a copycat, you can never be the real thing.”
  • Dried Blood 1:52:55 “Nobody can copy you when you are Ragu.”

The Lord of Fate

  • 0:06:47 “I heard that. Where are you? I will find you!”
  • 0:07:04 “I swear to God, if you’re eating hot dogs, I will find you and I will break you.”
  • 0:08:00 “None of the words that you say make any sense. Do you realize this?”
  • 0:13:50 “Don’t do that, that’s me. I’m me, you stop that.”
  • 0:16:04 “Why did you even bring those to a deathmatch?”
  • 0:40:34 “I’ll have you know that that cutesy baby murdered his own family. Or at least he thought. It’s a complicated story.”
  • 0:41:46 “The dungeons, they have a bathroom. We’re not animals.”
  • 0:42:29 “I usurped the throne. Fair and square.”
  • 0:42:57 “How did you change my two-factor authentication?”
  • 0:44:21 “Fine, you want Doug?”
  • 1:11:55 “Yeah, the real you. I’ll just keep this for later.”
  • 1:40:54 “You’ve witnessed the death of copycat. I, for one, am fucking stoked. If anyone sees my phone, there is a reward.”

Thea

  • 0:06:50 “I’m nowhere, I’m nowhere, I’m nowhere, I’m nowhere.”
  • 0:07:39 “I was just trying to pick which one I wanted to wear and you said I couldn’t wear all of them.”
  • 0:07:52 “Halloween lives in your spirit and is with us forever.”
  • 0:12:41 “420? That’s top tier.”
  • 0:14:13 “That’s clearly the real one. Lord of Fate.”
  • 0:14:54 “You, the imposter, you will fight Ragu.”
  • 0:28:29 “It’s easier through my stomach because then I stay in one piece.”
  • 0:29:25 “You can wield Thea if you’d like as a weapon, a fart gun, if you will.”
  • 0:42:17 “Doug the pug is innocent.”
  • 0:46:36 “I’m number 16. That’s a good number. That’s my social security number now.”
  • 1:00:18 “I’ll call it Sarah and take care of it forever.”
  • 1:19:46 “Crack that sauce.” (speaker uncertain, 06)

The shadowy figure in the Box of Chaos

  • 1:12:49 “Is it rude that I don’t know where to look?”
  • 1:13:41 “Are you, like, gonna retire?”
  • 1:14:24 “It’s, like, spacious. I can still touch both sides, but… I can almost straighten my elbows.”
  • 1:14:40 “The interest rates are so high, I could never afford to sell it.”
  • 1:14:57 “I have a pretty minimalist lifestyle in here. I mean, I have a lot of shit, but it’s all I just pile in the corner.”
  • 1:15:19 “Is the guy just gonna be you in a disguise, stealing my identity?”
  • 1:16:54 “Don’t worry, I know the passcode. I used to be a shadow.”
  • 1:17:16 “I can’t really, like, leave the box, but… you could drag me.”
  • (The box figure’s “I don’t really have a body though, I’m just like a soul” at 1:12:55 sits inside one of Copycat’s run-on lines; the attribution is inferred.)

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